I don’t know what it is about this year’s crop of Christmas commercials. Have I just had less time to watch TV? Do I watch everything on DVR so commercials get skipped? Are advertisers finally getting the idea that we hate them? I don’t know what it is but this year, there doesn’t seem to have been as many commercials that really sucked this year.
I’ve been talking to people asking them for feedback and most I’ve talked to have a hard time giving more than 1 commercial to make this list. If advertisers are finally starting to get it then that truly is a Christmas miracle.
Here are the worst Christmas commercials 2014. If I’ve missed any (and I’m sure I have), I am confident that you will let me know.
Worst Christmas Commercials 2014
Pregnant Chicks for K-Mart and Joe Boxer
There is so much wrong with this commercial. First of all, they take one of the worst Christmas songs of all time, Santa Baby, and make it even worse. Then they take one of the most annoying commercials ever, the Joe Boxer commercial with the dudes, and take the annoying up another notch.
Up next from the fine folks at Joe Boxer? Breast-feeding moms. Be on the look out.
Kay Jewelers Penguin
Jewelry companies usually dominate this list and this year is no exception. I don’t have many that have made this list but I think beyond the knocked up gals, they are all jewelry commercials. This one makes this list because I truly hate diamond companies. According to them, the only way a man can tell his SO that he loves her is by giving her some kind of diamond.
How in the hell did that penguin get that present all the way to his home? He doesn’t even have thumbs? More importantly, without said thumbs, how did he even open the box? Come on Kay. Get on your game.
Kay Jewelers and Citizen Watch
This commercial first started running during Christmas last year. Kay apparently liked it so much they thought they would torture us with it again this year. Kay gives us a commercial with an old man bitching about kids these days. But wait, one young man went to Kay. Maybe he’s ok after all. It’s a Christmas miracle brought to you by the folks at Kay and the people from hell.
Lexus makes this list every year more because they are a bunch of pretentious ass-clowns than because their commercials are annoying. They are annoying, don’t get me wrong, but it’s really more about the message from Lexus that is grating.
So we’ve got the whole family, minus mom who is probably inside screaming at the domestics to get Christmas dinner done on time, marveling at the new Lexus in the driveway. A few problems. First, why hasn’t the help cleared the snow off that drive way? I would imagine someone is getting fired for Christmas this year. Second, does anyone else find it interesting that it appears to be cold yet no one’s breath is visible? It’s another Christmas miracle. Finally, yes lets get those kids out on the driveway to marvel at our new Lexus. Let’s get them learning early on that what matters is what kind of car your family drives. I’m sure those kids don’t have to mingle with the unwashed masses at public school but they are going to have to learn how to interact with their lessers at some point. Shouldn’t dad be working on helping his kids learn how to properly speak to a servant?
Jared Pandora Bracelet
This one isn’t specifically Christmas but Jared has been rolling it out again for the season which gives me the chance to talk about it here. I really hate all of the jewelry companies. They are just awful. I hate their message and I hate that there are people out there who are really like the people portrayed in their commercials. In this one, the star is a god awful woman who speaks Pandora. Yes. She said she speaks Pandora.
So I’m to believe that this woman was able to see what each of those little charms were on that other woman’s bracelet from across the room all while 2nd woman was waving her arm around talking to other guests? Not only does she speak Pandora, she appears to have Superman level vision and a world class attitude about her. I don’t know what the two guys in this commercial do for work, but something tells me they need to keep going to that job every day to make sure their wives have more of their money to spend.
Well that’s it. I don’t have a long list this year but these surely will suffice. Be sure to let me know which Christmas commercials are annoying you this year.