Wendy’s Bacon Portabella Melt

wendysIf Dave Thomas didn’t roll over in his grave when his company replaced the actual Wendy (his daughter) with another red head floozy, he surely rolled over after he saw the Wendy’s bacon portabella melt commercials.

Surely you have seen these commercials. What did you think when you saw them? Let’s take a look at the first commercial so we can refresh your memory:


Disturbing right? Do we agree why? Probably not. I’m sure you are thinking the dude in this commercial is some kind of a freak right? He starts talking dirty with his hamburger and clearly wants to be left alone. I have no problem with this. It’s a damn good hamburger and his feelings are justified. My problem is with that bitch Wendy.

She is the one who gets the ball rolling on the suggestive talking. She basically walks the poor guy right in to the conversation and then when the ball gets rolling, she pops in to judge him. At least she let him have the burger so she wasn’t a tease on top of being a bitch.  Now let’s take a look at the 2nd commercial:


Notice the outfits they are wearing? Go back and look. They are in the same clothes. Ok so after the first commercial when she judges our hero, she was apparently just bluffing. She doesn’t leave him alone with his burger which now makes her a liar.  What else does she do wrong? Well she judges our hero again. Look. She got the ball rolling with turning him on to this burger. She already knew he was in to it when she threatened to leave. She obviously chose not to leave and instead takes the opportunity to judge our hero yet again when he speaks of his love for the burger. WTF Wendy? You knew the deal when you opted to stay and eat with our hero and yet you still feel that he is the one who is wrong?

Wendy’s please. Pretty please. Please bring back Wendy Thomas. We shouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of this red headed imposter any longer. Those of us who love food should not have to be judged and preached at by the very person who is shilling for said food. There is a limit to what we will stand for. Do the right thing Wendy’s.