So. We all survived the Mayan apocalypse. I’m sure we were all relieved to find out that the world didn’t end on 12/21. Well this is good and bad at the same time. It’s good because hey, the world didn’t end and we are all still here. It’s bad though because we the human race will not be held accountable for our crimes. What crimes? Well I’ve talked about them before but let me remind you of the reasons we all deserved to die:
2 Broke Girls
First, we should all have had to suffer a fiery and painful death for allowing 2 Broke Girls to be on the air. When I watch that show, I can’t help but wonder how there are people out there who not only watch this show, but they like it too. If this is really true, we all deserved what the Mayans said was coming for us.
The Real Housewives of ______________
The picture on the left is a real person. I’m not kidding. She is on the Real Housewives of Miami and she has had more plastic surgery and is made of less real human pieces than Darth Vader. Aside from her, the women on any and all of these shows are just about the worst people in the world. People (women) can’t stop tuning in for some reason. What started as one real housewives show turned out to be popular enough to need a franchise of real housewives shows because, as we all know, real housewives have different challenges and obstacles in different cities. One rich woman’s burden in New York City for example pales in comparison to the horrible burden that a rich housewife in Atlanta has to endure for example. The fact again that this show is not only on the air, but doing well enough to spawn off-shoots, is proof positive that we as a human race didn’t deserve to survive 12/21.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
These people each make $40,000 per episode. That is only possible because enough people watch this show to make that salary worth it to the network. $40k per episode. If a big giant meteor had smashed in to earth on 12/21, we would have all deserved it.
The Jersey Shore
These people are all rich now. You know that right? MTV has ended the show, but that should have been too little too late and, they replaced it with the next version anyway so they really weren’t trying to appease the gods, they were just trying to get more money out of the mouth-breathing American masses that like this kind of a show.
Those are some of the examples of reasons why, if the Mayans were right, we would have deserved it. I am sad again that we are not going to be held accountable for our crimes. What this now means for TV executives is that they now have nothing to fear. If they aren’t worried about the garbage they put on TV ending the world, then why not put more garbage on TV? We are all in for some tough years ahead (unless you are a fan of one of the above shows, then you are going to get more shows that fit at your IQ level that will no doubt entertain the crap out of you).