Viewer Mail For April

Viewer Mail For MarchIt’s that time again for us to finally get around to answering questions from our loyal fans.  As a reminder, we are not medical professionals and some of the questions we get have us concerned to a point that you should actually seek professional help.

I know we search the web daily and see hundreds if not thousands of pictures, but honestly we don’t know if that growth is infected.  Get it looked at.

With that, here is viewer mail for April…

Renee Flexbone from Duluth, MN – I just love Midwest Mark.  OMG he’s so funny and it’s like he says what I’m thinking.  It’s tots cra cra how he uses small words that even I can understand.  Is he single and will he go to prom with me?

MWTVG Response – We think Midwest Mark is married.  We say think because some woman with the same last name as him always likes his posts on Facebook but never any of the other authors posts.  There’s a good chance whoever this person is Mark has her locked up in his basement and she has a terrible case of Stockholm syndrome.  So after all that I guess what I’m trying to say is that yes, Midwest Mark would love to take you to prom.  He’s been waiting his whole life for someone to ask him.

 

From an anonymous reader – Midwest Mike, I noticed you stopped referring to yourself as a professional writer in every. Single. One of your posts. Is this because you got tired of the joke or because you are actually starting to believe that you really are a professional writer?

MWTVG Response – Which one do you think is true? From the tone of your email, I would say you think that I have transitioned in to the brotherhood of professional writers and you are just showing concern for what seems to be my lack of confidence now that I am in this rarified air. The reason I no longer refer to myself as a professional writer is the same reason Michael Jordan never referred to himself as the greatest. Others did it for him.

 

From a Google User – I used to love reading your site everyday but lately I can’t seem to find you in Google.  Are you guys still writing?

MWTVG Response – You have to understand how the internet works.  Google is run like a major mafia crime family.  As a website you start out small, maybe some snatch and grabs of traffic.  After some time, Google notices you and says nice things to you tells you what you want to hear.  Then once you’re sucked in, it’s time to start paying them for you know, their protection.  You’ll say, “Protection from what?”  Of course they launder their money through something called Google Adsense and it all sounds very legal and what not.

We chose to not pay Google blood money and of course now we are dead and buried in a ditch somewhere having just been beaten to a bloody pulp with bats by a bunch of Google Adsense salesmen.  We were young and dumb and thought our internet fame would protect us from Google.  We were wrong.

 

As always, thanks to our six loyal fans for your continued support.  We look forward to bringing you the latest in female celebs that are cold wearing bikinis.