I’ve written this list before and it’s time for an update since the last one was done way back in 2012. That list was kind of an all-time list though so I want to focus more on the characters that are on TV right now. Let’s update the list of TV’s 10 most annoying characters 2014 style. Some rules for the list. No reality shows and no cable. Everyone on reality shows are annoying. If we did a list that included those shows, there could be list after list of just women from any of The Real Housewives shows. I’m not including cable either because there are, at last count, roughly 640,000 shows on cable TV so to find all the ones who are the most annoying would be really hard to do. This list is pretty simple really. It’s all about the people that I think are the most annoying and since I’m the smartest person around, it’s pretty much the definitive list.
TV’s 10 Most Annoying Characters 2014
#10 – Alan Harper (Two and a Half Men)
What is the deal with this guy? So I can understand living with your brother. He had just gotten a divorce and his wife left him penniless. Fine. But now he’s living with some guy still in the same house? How many years has it been now? Are you completely unable to stand on your own two feet? How weird is it that you keep living there? Not to mention that he is about the biggest whiny male on TV right now and for his age group, he is the #1 biggest whiner. It’s no wonder he turned his wife in to a lesbian. She was essentially already married to one.
#9 – Sydney Roberts (Crazy Ones)
I know this has to be a difficult role for Sarah Michelle Gellar. She’s already not a good actress and then she is being asked to play one of the more difficult parts in all of show business, the straight man. She has to play it straight to Robin Williams’ foil (that’s what the funny one is called in this relationship, look it up) and that isn’t an easy task to ask of any actor. There have been few really good straight men in history but those who have been great are legendary. Sydney Roberts is the daughter of Simon Roberts and they are both partners in their advertising company. Sydney is the worst kind of straight man stereotype though. She can’t have any fun at all and is all business all the time. In every situation she has to pretend to always be the voice of reason even though she isn’t smart or reasonable or able to lead anyone in any way. The show would be just fine if they wrote this character out. She is totally unnecessary.
#8 – Kacey (Mixology)
There has been just one episode of Mixology so for this character to not only make the list, but be more annoying than two others on this list, she has to be pretty annoying. If you haven’t watched Mixology, it’s about a bunch of young-ish people trying to date and find love and blah blah blah. Kacey is played by Vanessa Lengies who you might remember from the movie Waiting where she played a teenage hostess. The annoying part about Kacey is that her voice is even more of a baby doll voice now than it was when this actress was a teenager. Listening to Kacey talk made me want to punch babies in the face. There were parts of Mixology that I liked but so many of the female characters were like Kacey in that they all talk like little girls. Kacey was just the worst of them all.
#7 – Tessa Altman (Suburgatory)
I know that Tessa is a teenage girl and she’s supposed to hate everything and be unhappy all the time and hate everything around her. Just because that is what teenage girls do, it doesn’t make it less annoying. Listening to her complain week in and week out about some petty issue is grating as hell. It’s even worse when she bitches about how her dad moved her to the suburbs from New York City and how this is totally unfair to her. Question honey. What exactly would you be doing in the big city? I get it if you are older and can enjoy living in the city but as a teenage girl? What are you missing out on? Just shut up already. Besides, everyone else on the show is more worth watching than you. I wish the writers would change the focus of the show.
#6 – Brick Heck (The Middle)
The actor who plays Brick on The Middle, Atticus Shaffer, has a condition called Type IV Osteogenesis Imperfecta. It’s not ever referenced on the show so his condition is not a disability for his character Brick. Me hating Brick then has nothing to do with his disability so I can’t be accused of picking on a crippled kid. Now that that’s out of the way, good Lord is Brick annoying. Is he just about the most selfish kid on TV? He doesn’t care about anyone around him and doesn’t even pretend to take any interest in any of his family or anything going on around him. If he can read a book, that’s what he will be doing. It doesn’t matter when or where or how rude it is for him to do it. The amount of extra work he causes his parents through his actions, that by his age he should better than to do, is astounding. If I were his parents, I would find a way to send his ass to boarding school.