The Usell Guy…

A dire warning to all Midwest TV Guys (and Gals) out there:

The moment that you might forget to fast-forward through the commercials, this guy might rear his ugly head and sap away your intelligence at the rate of approximately 1.5 IQ points per second.  To the point that you find yourself yelling quasi-cogent obscenities at the television.  Like I was doing earlier today.

Here’s my recommendations, Usell guy… tuck in your shirt.  Take off that stupid vest and please remove the purple tie.  Get a haircut and take a shower as I’m sure you smell like way too much CK1.  Shave that garbage on your chin, for christsakes, and go get yourself enrolled in college.  Take lessons on how to be less of a douche.  Pop a Xanax.  Stop talking like you’re from the hood, we can see straight through it.  And move out of you mom’s basement.  Sure you need a quick 60 bucks to pay off your drug dealer (and that “fancy vest” is fooling NOBODY), but how about you get a real job.  And a girlfriend.

So make sure you fast forward the commercials EVERY TIME, and don’t say I didn’t warn you…

6 Comments on The Usell Guy…

  1. Bobby Millikin // June 8, 2013 at 4:51 am // is a scam don’t do it!

  2. Hey there! I just stumbled across this post. Well first, thank you so much for your review, as I’m sure you are an accredited commercial actor commentator. While almost nothing in your review was accurate or true, it still makes me feel good, because my job is to get brand awareness and get people talking, and like me or not, I did my job, and I might add, I did it very well! Love to entertain any more of your questions, or outlandish remarks in the future and you can find me at the below sites.
    Thanks-and Keep Watching!
    Bobby-The Usell Guy

    • Midwest Mike // December 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm //

      Hey Bobby thanks for coming by and thanks for being such a good sport.

    • Bobby,
      You did do your job well! You played your character up, didn’t stumble on your lines and if you are TAG certified and used a prompter, could not tell at all!

      Obviously you followed the image the director was trying to project to a T (a young, high energy, well dressed spokesperson).

      Congrats on landing that gig and I hope it paid you well with residuals in the future.

      Oh…and congrats on getting some free publicity via this blog post!

    • Bobby i met you at cap city, bought you a pear cooler. Can you contact me at this email? I have a question for you.

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