Obviously this show isn’t aimed at me right? I’m sure ABC has all kinds of market research telling them that people who are watching The Bachelor want more and more and more. Well people. ABC has listened to that research. It’s all Bachelor all the time on ABC this week (at least it feels that way). Here we go with The Bachelor 2014 week 8 part two.
For part 2 of this week’s Bachelor, Juan Pa and the ladies are taken to scenic St. Lucia as we head in to the final phase of the season. The fantasy suite nights are up next for each of the ladies. I’m sure that ABC wants to have each of the ladies talk about how they are hesitant to say yes to staying with Juan Pa because they feel that will make the women look better. Let’s be honest though. You know that not one of them is hesitant. The entire reason they are on this show is to make it to this point. The will she/won’t she drama is hype for the viewers who like to think that these women might not immediately jump in to the sack with the Latin lover. Are any of you buying their hesitation? I’m not. I’m selling. They are too. Selling hard.
Clare is up first for the first night in the fantasy suite. I like her bit of acting that she was hesitant because of how Juan Pa reacted to her previous dalliance in the ‘Nam. There is nothing more that this crazy lady wants then to have a night alone with Juan Pa. If she thinks I’m buying this act, she’s got another thing coming. I’m sure she came on this show to kick start her acting career and unless she is going to be working on Sharknado 3: The Sharkening (that’s trademarked Sharknado people just in case you get the idea to do a 3rd), she’s going to need to improve her acting skills.
Holy cow was there enough camera shots of them making out in the hot tub? It was like watching that godawful kissing scene Top Gun.
Ladies, do you like having your lip bit? I’ve seen Clare using that technique multiple times now. I don’t know what it’s supposed to show but I’m not a fan. Like I said, she seems like she is 20 years old. Does she like to give hickies too?
I think everything she does is a calculated act. I don’t believe anything she has done on this show has been genuine. I think she is working her butt off to make it to the end hoping she can be the next Bachelorette. She is more interested in a TV career than in getting married. How do I know? She came on this show.
District Attorney Andi is up next for her big fantasy date with Juan Pa. We’ve been getting teased that there is a big fight coming so it will be interesting to see what it’s all about and I have a theory about it as soon as I get to the point in the show where the big fight breaks out.
Ok first of all, I know she’s not serious about this because of my swimsuit theory. She’s on this big fantasy date with Juan Pa and she’s wearing a 1-piece suit? Uh uh honey. That’s a no go. A 1-piece suit is not being worn by anyone who wants to win this thing. It also plays in to my theory that I’ll share with you once we get to the fight.
Andi doesn’t even pretend to hesitate before saying yes to the fantasy suite. We know that it doesn’t work out well though from clips they have already shown so now I’m curious to find out what happened between the two of them to cause the big fight.
“She’s cute”. That’s what Juan Pa said about Andi. I’m sure that about zero women have ever seen my all-time favorite movie, Bull Durham, but Susan Sarandon has a great line in that movie when her character Annie Savoy asks Nuke Laloosh (Tim Robbins) if he thinks she’s pretty. Nuke tells her that she’s cute. Annie’s response? “Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic, and mysterious!” I think Juan Pa saying that Andi is cute sums up the fact that he doesn’t really have feelings for her.
So Juan Pa and Andi sure saw the night differently huh? He thinks the night went great and she thought it was a disaster. Why? Whatever the reasons she gave on the show, I’ll tell you why. It has to do with her wearing the 1-piece suit and with her now finding fault in everything Juan Pa does and says. The reason: she is going to be the next Bachelorette. Now I don’t know for sure, it’s my gut feeling. I’ve seen women on the internet hoping that it’s Renee but I said in last night’s post that I don’t think it’s going to be Renee. I think she’s great, but she is too boring for her own show. Andi is everything the producers of The Bachelor could hope for in a Bachelorette. I think she is tanking this on purpose and she will either quit the show or Juan Pa is going to toss her because of the fight they are still going to have on this episode.
Nikki is the 3rd contestant on the Price is Right and is last in line to have her big fantasy date with Juan Pa. Take note of the suit that Nikki is wearing when she goes swimming with Juan Pa. Tiny little bikini right? Take note and go back through all the other episodes of this show. Those who have worn 1-piece suits do not last on the show.
Nikki didn’t hesitate a second either when asked if she wanted to spend the night with Juan Pa. That means that only Clare pretended to pause meaning that it wasn’t ABC who asked for the women to pretend to have reservations. It also means that definitely Clare is acting and not being genuine.
If you follow us on Twitter (@midwesttvguys), you will have seen that Juan Pa favorited one of our Tweets this week. There was a story that Juan Pa had reservations about coming on the show and I said I didn’t see any hesitation on his part because he attaches himself to the faces of women faster than the monster from the Alien movies. He at least thought that was funny but honestly, it’s true.
After the dates, Juan Pa meets with the pimp in charge of all of this, Don the Magic Chris Harrison to talk about how difficult a decision Juan Pa has in front of him having to choose one of the ladies to send home.
Juan Pa watches video messages recorded by each of the women. Nikki goes first and then Clare. ABC obviously was leaving Andi’s message for last on purpose because it wasn’t a good message. She wants to meet directly with Juan Pa to talk about what she has to say. Everyone I’m sure knows that whenever a woman asks to see you face to face, it’s not for anything good. Whether you are married to that woman, dating that woman, working with that woman, or just passing by her on the street. Nothing good ever comes from a meeting request like that.
This meeting turned out to be as bad as you would think from her meeting request. She tells Juan Pa that she realizes that she is not in love with him. What she doesn’t say is that she is more in love with the idea of being the next Bachelorette.
Also, as a man I can guarantee that I see this fight way differently than the women watching this show. I don’t know where Andi gets off being mad. She just told the guy that she doesn’t love him. She didn’t like his response? What does she want? Don’t tell me she’s one of those women who wants to act crazy and then expects her man to fight for her. Let me tell you what Juan Pa is not going to do. He’s not begging anyone. Why? Because he has two other options. You come right out and say oh by the way, I don’t love you so suck on that and you want a different response? Shut up crazy lady. He’s been having to get rid of women weekly. He’s used to it. My perception of Andi changed a ton watching this fight. I don’t know what she thinks this process is.
Is she surprised that Juan Pa is dating other women? She’s mad also that he had a date with Clare before her? Man. The high-maintenance alarms are going off like crazy for Andi now. Maybe the women are seeing it her way but as a man watching this, I’m actually getting angry. She wants to have her feelings and opinions and doesn’t want Juan Pa to have his own. She is trying to dictate his thoughts, feelings, and words.
I’d believe she had more of a leg to stand on if she were back home just dating this guy but she is on a nationally televised reality TV dating show where she and 27 other women started together trying to make it to the end. If she wants to apply real world dating etiquette to this situation, she is truly crazy. Also, she is doing this because she wants to be the next Bachelorette and probably will be. She is showing fire that Renee doesn’t have. Can you imagine the fights she will have on The Bachelorette?
Oh my god shut her up already. She has had I think one solo date with Juan Pa and she’s mad he doesn’t know her religious views, her political views, her social views, how she wants to raise her kids and what not? Look Andi, we get it. You don’t want to be with Juan Pa. Just move on. Do you want him to cry or something?
I haven’t really liked Juan Pa much this season but I liked him in this fight. Andi was crazy and wrong. She made it to this point and now wants to bring up these problems? You can’t tell me that she isn’t doing it for a reason. She pulled this on purpose. If she’s not the next Bachelorette, she has something else in the works then because this isn’t genuine.
So Andi quits. So long Andi. We’ll see you next season on The Bachelorette.
So Andi quitting make the rose ceremony unnecessary but Juan Pa used it as a way to get a commitment from the two remaining women. He still asked them if they would accept the rose and move on. At this point, neither one of them is going to say no. Their only real chance at any future benefit from their time on this show is to win this thing. Neither one of them would be picked to be the next Bachelorette so their only hope is to win. Well win by being picked to be the future ex-Mrs. Juan Pa.
So there are two weeks until the finale. Curse you ABC! At least next week we get the women tell all special. This should be pretty explosive. Juan Pa has made his way around the women and I’m sure there are some angry psychos in the group of ex’s that can’t wait to say their piece.
We’ll see. Stay tuned for next week as I’ll be talking about the women tell all.