The Bachelor 2014 Finale

Juan Pablo The Bachelor Finale

Juan Pablo The Bachelor FinaleOh. My. God y’all. We are finally here! Our long journey has come to an end. I would compare it to the Bataan Death March but I think most fans of The Bachelor wouldn’t know what that is and it’s also disrespectful to those who were forced on that march. Whatever a step under that march is. That is what it has been like watching The Bachelor for me. I’m so happy that we are finally at The Bachelor 2014 finale. Let’s get in to it.

Never being one to not want to stretch this out absolutely as long as possible, ABC makes this a 3-hour torture event.  We have to go back and watch more footage of things we have seen and scenes of the women meeting Juan Pa’s family.

Ladies. Let me give you a hint. If a dude’s father. His fricken father. Tells you that he is a tough guy to be in a relationship with, you should run. Run as fast as you can. What Juan Pa’s dad was saying about him being “focused” was his way of saying he’s selfish and doesn’t think at all of others. Well except for his daughter of course. Did you all know Juan Pa is a dad and he has a daughter? Crazy right?

One thing, of the many, that I won’t miss is listening to Clare talk about how she thinks Juan Pa is going to make a great husband. I’m sick of listening to her blather on and on about this relationship. She’s not going to be the next Bachelorette so really this is her only hope for making anything out of this TV appearance but she is over-playing her hand.

Can I make  point about the audience? What is it with the few dudes who are in the audience who all seem to have the same kind of short George Michael beard? I saw like 3 of them in the audience which makes nearly 100% of the non-previous contestant men in the audience.

So we get feedback from the audience where everyone is predicting that this isn’t going to end well. Gee. They are brilliant. I wonder if Chris saying over and over and over that this is the most controversial Bachelor finale ever could have tipped anyone off. I don’t know what is going to happen either but I’m pretty sure that it will be controversial.

Well. What did Juan Pa say to Clare? Whatever it was, it completely changed her feelings towards him in an instant. It seems to have been sexual and I guess despite coming on a reality dating show and making out with him constantly, sneaking off to his room in Vietnam, and spending a night in the fantasy suite with him, Clare does seem to have a line that Juan Pa somehow crossed.

I’m sure all the women watching this show are pissed at Juan Pa right now and on Clare’s side. Let me give you the sane male’s perspective. Clare is crazy. So all through this show she behaves one way and totally goes along with Juan Pa at every turn and now she is upset that he thinks that their physical relationship is the driving force behind their relationship?  Give me a break.

I love that she is some kind of a hot house flower now who is oh so delicate who’s ears were so hurt by the words that Juan Pa used. He’s not a woman Clare. He’s a man. He’s a man who has obviously had a physical relationship with you, a man who feels that he has grown close to you, who feels comfortable with you, who then spoke in a way that men speak.

The women on this show are flat out crazy. Seriously. I don’t know what Juan Pa got paid to be on this show but whatever it was, I don’t think it was enough to put up with the insanity that has surrounded him this season. For sure he is an ass. That is not in dispute. But he’s really a pretty typical jock guy. He’s not special. He’s pretty common. For these women to pretend that they don’t understand him is only them now trying to redeem themselves for having come on this show and debased themselves from the beginning. I’m wondering now how they feel about all the gushing statements that every single one of them has made about Juan Pa throughout the season.

Bunch of f-ing hypocrites.

Finally their last date ends and we go back to the audience for more opinion from the woman I hate the most on this show, Sharleen. I won’t miss her either.

Heading in to Nikki’s date now and again, Nikki is here to win. How do I know? She’s wearing a bikini. Look back during this season and you can see that anyone who wore a 1-piece suit is gone now. Nikki isn’t going to be the next Bachelorette either so her one shot at any kind of stardom is to hope that Juan Pa asks her to “marry” him.

Nikki gets in to the same damn thing that Clare does. She wants feelings from Juan Pa. I have to say that I am glad I don’t have to date in this day and age. Is that is what is expected of “men” these days? Do you have to sit around and talk about your feelings all the time? I don’t know what these women want. Do they want a man or do they want to marry a woman? I don’t think that men should be unfeeling neanderthals, but guess what ladies, we don’t sit around and think about our feelings all day long.

For these to women to make it to this stage and then start to act as if they have problems with this again is less about really being concerned about whether or not they will marry Juan Pa and more about trying to redeem their reputations for how they have behaved during the entire season of this show.

Show me any time that any woman, other than Sharleen, who ever complained about him and how he acted. They never did. 100% of their time talking about Juan Pa was to ooze praise. Now they act like he’s a horrible person. He’s the same guy today that he was when the show first started. If you are finding out now you are either a liar or a bigger idiot than even I thought you were for coming on this show.

Nikki’s date with Juan Pa ends the same way that Clare’s did. In tears. I don’t buy her act one bit. You want out of this? Fine. Get out of it but don’t sit there and pretend now that you have issues with this guy that you have had nothing but praise for the entire season. God I can’t wait for this show to be over.

The Final Rose

Boom. Clare is gone. She doesn’t take it well either. Juan Pa goes in the for the hug and Clare denies him. The live audience applauds in full support of the nut bag Clare. Hey Clare. One of you had to go. It’s you. Suck it up and move on.

Want to know how crazy Clare is? Walking in to her meeting with Juan Pa she was full of love and admiration and as soon as Juan Pa tells her that she is not the one he is choosing, she completely turns on him. She tells him everything negative she can think of which means that she had already been thinking that stuff in the first place.

She flipped the switch in such a hurry that I don’t believe any of her feelings at all have been real. Now she’s saying he’s not the man she thought he was? That would imply that you have had thoughts Clare.  See you later crazy.

So no proposal from Juan Pa. He gets to Nikki and tells her that he likes her a lot but he’s not 100% sure about wanting to marry her. To be honest, its the most real thing he has said this entire season. I’m sure the women watching the show will be pissed because they want the pay off of a proposal at the end of the season but Juan Pa actually had his first honest moment of the entire season.

After the Final Rose

I don’t really know how much of this I’m going to be able to watch. I really don’t want to listen as ABC gives these jilted crazy women a forum to now try to defend their actions of an entire season.

God one more time having to listen to Clare. She says again that it was a day that every woman waits for. Really? Do little girls dream of going on a reality show and competing with 27 other women to marry a guy that you met a few weeks earlier? Is that really the dream? She thinks that she is Cinderella and some prince is going to come save her. No man can ever live up to whatever fantasy she has in her head. If I were her, I would never tell any guys in the future that I date that I was on this show. You would not want them going and finding your episodes.

“I trusted the process of it.” Clare actually said that about this show. This is a show that combined with the Bachelorette has 2 married couples in 18 seasons of The Bachelor and 9 seasons of The Bachelorette (there is another married couple but they got together after the season was over). For her to say that this is a process she can trust shows that she is truly a moron.

Now she won’t face Juan Pa? She gets to come out on stage and fire away and then she wants to run away and say she has said her part? What a fricken loon. The audience clapping is even more enraging.

Oh yes Clare. You are such a strong woman. You are fighting for women everywhere. You are fighting for all the other women who sign up for reality TV dating shows who feel they have been wronged by the production of the show. You go girl.

I honestly can’t take any more of this. I know there is more but I’m done. I’ve had enough of this show. I’ve had to put up with it for the entire season and I’m dumber for having to do it.

Oh and BTW, I was right about who the next Bachelorette is. Andi has been announced. If any of you who are actual fans of this show think that this whole production is about anything other than getting to be picked to get your own show, you are fooling yourselves.