Supernatural – Season 9 Premiere Review

supernatural-season-9-promoTo open with a hypothetical question: what happens when you are given too much of a great thing?  To follow with a hypothetical answer: you get seasons 7, 8 and 9 of SUPERNATURAL.

Note the picture.  I feel a lot like Dean right now.

Allow me to be brief:  I’m disappointed.  Not just in a small nitpicky way, but in a major can’t-hardly-watch-it-anymore kind of way.  The massive polar shift that started at the onset of the sixth season burst in an awful seventh season and it hasn’t been the same since.  SUPERNATURAL was awesome because it was dark, gritty, scary and edgy.  Now it is bright, cheerful and douchy.  I can only blame this on the CW’s direction as all of their other shows (that I less-than-lovingly call “Douche Operas”) have adopted the same look and tone.  My beloved SUPERNATURAL has now become DOUCHERNATURAL.

As insult to injury, they must have lost their collection of Kansas albums, because they sure didn’t open with Carry On My Wayward Son for the ump-teenth time.  To quote the ever-eloquent Mutant Enemy, “Grr.  Argh.”

What is there left to say?  Sam is dying for the third or fourth time, “for realzies” as he tries to explain to Death but is saved yet again by Dean and a moron of a new angel.  This is all presented through a series of Telemundo quality flashback segments much like the entire throwaway first half of season 8.  Oh, and Bobby’s back!  Until Dean kills him in a dream.  So much for that.

That’s the other real low point happening here, the show has found the lowest common denominator of supporting actors and it stands out badly.  Remember the days when JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN and LAUREN COHAN and even MARK PELLEGRINO guest starred?  Yea, me too.  That’s what makes that useless sack of crap angel Dean dispatches near the start of this episode look like even a bigger sack of crap.  The best current non-Sam and Dean character (Crowley) was locked in Dean’s trunk the whole time so MARK SHEPPARD didn’t even have the opportunity to class things up a bit.

I hate to even speak these words, but SUPERNATURAL is at the point where it needs to poop or get off the pot.  Fool me once, yadda yadda yadda, fool me for three seasons and I think I need to cut you loose.

“D” for the premiere.  I love you, SUPERNATURAL.  It’s because I love you that I don’t want to be with you… these are very complex emotions we are talking about here.

In other news, I am extremely excited about AMERICAN HORROR STORY premiere tomorrow night!!!  Until then.