Sons of Anarchy – Season 6 Prediction Update

urlHello everybody, my name is MIDWEST MARK.  Nice to see you all here, and I hope you enjoy your stay.  MIDWEST MO emailed me in what I could only imagine was a full-on panic earlier to make sure I was ok, and I would like to assure everybody that even though I have been busy and sleep deprived, I haven’t gone anywhere.  And yes, I am still alive.  This is depressing news to MIDWEST MIKE who was about to stake a claim to my portion of the site proceeds.  Alright, “proceeds” might be overstating things a bit, it’s more like “proceed” in the singular form.

Even though I find myself headlong into ‘pulling the Hopkins’ on BREAKING BAD (4 seasons in 3 weeks isn’t all that bad), I still make special time to squeak in one of my perennial favorites.

You might as well start referring to me as MIDWEST MARKSTRADAMUS, because my “Bold Predictions” for the 6th season of SONS OF ANARCHY has been phenomenally accurate.  This can only mean one of two things.  Either I’m a bona fide genius or KURT SUTTER *finally* hung up that 2014 MWTVG swimsuit calendar I sent him over the summer.  MIDWEST MO is Mr. February, and I think the photographer really accentuated his ab.  Have you ever shaved chest hair with hedge trimmers?  Me neither.  Although I was in charge of the back-wax… at least I didn’t need to look him in the face while doing so.

Head inside for the full breakdown:

I had five predictions for this season and they were as follows:

5.  Wendy is going to be a pain in the ass

4.  Walton Goggins is coming back as Venus Van Dam

3.  More than one major character is going to die

2.  Gemma is going to kill Tara, or visa-versa.

1.  Lee Toric is going to burn down the clubhouse.

As I see things, we really haven’t been privy to Wendy’s true intentions yet and something is going on.  Even though #5 has not technically happened yet, I have a feeling that she’s playing both sides and is going to mess up Tara’s meticulously-planned strategy.

WALTON GOGGINS didn’t just come back, he had a whole episode dedicated to his character.  Great move on Sutter’s part, and it really showed Goggins’ range as an actor.  Funny that even though he is playing a transsexual stripper and you could tell that the cast is making every attempt to not laugh the whole time, it was a pretty emotional performance.

We have seen some blood spilled among the characters, but nothing like I assume the second half of the season is going to be.  Phil is dead now and so is Otto and Lee Toric.  I understand the decision to off the first two, but I think they prematurely pulled the trigger on Toric.  He was an extremely interesting character that was brutally underutilized.  Oh well, we forgive and forget.  Combining this with #2, I am still completely expecting Tara or Gemma to not live through the season.  I’ll call this one for the second-to-last episode.

And finally, even though Lee Toric didn’t do it (and whatever happened to his massive arsenal he never did anything with), the club house went boom.

Now that we have revisited, let me make three more predictions for the rest of the season, except this time they are going to be much less bold and much more likely:

1.  Charlie Hunnam will remember that Jax isn’t British.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like pretty much everything the guy does.  He was outstanding in THE LEDGE, awesome in PACIFIC RIM and hilarious in FRANKIE GO BOOM.  If you’ve never seen an interview with him, the man is very, very British.  And he’s clearly forgotten his breathy American accent in several scenes so far this season.  I had to pause the TV at least twice to look at my wife and say “did you hear that?!?”

2.  Tig is going to marry Venus Van Dam

There is some massive chemistry going on between those two.  Except would that make Tig gay?  That probably wouldn’t jive too well with his MC life, fickle beast or not.  I just hope that Unser gets to be the minister so that Juice can be the flower girl.

3.  The club is going to find that Ice Cream is more profitable than Prostitution.

Ice cream.  Their clubhouse burns down so they have the guy with no hands scoop ice cream for kids.  Talk about insult to injury.

Overall, this season has been a bit of a mixed bag.  Mostly fine minus a couple of gripes.  Toric’s death nonwithstanding, I am very happy that Bobby is done circling things on maps (because that was dumb)… I just wish that Tara would stop talking to random people in her non-office.  And if Jax talks about his table one more time, I’m going to scream.

What has been your favorite part of the season so far?