Shows That Make Me Hope the Mayans Are Right

Here are some shows that we put on TV here in America that make me hope the Mayans are right and if they are, we deserve it for putting this garbage on TV:

1. TWO BROKE GIRLS – This show is in it’s 2nd season.  It’s 2nd season.  The fact that it was renewed should have sealed all of our fates.  Keep this in mind, there have been 48 episodes of this show ordered.  ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT only got 53 episodes before it was cancelled.  If this show is on longer than ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, we all deserve the fate that is coming to us.

2. THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF _____________ – You have got to be kidding me with these shows.  I know people who watch them.  Smart people that I respect.  They watch these shows and not even ironically.  I don’t get it.  First, I don’t get the fascination with watching people who are insanely rich and completely despicable people do things that all of the rest of us could only dream of doing.  If it was just rich people doing cool things, then I could get it.  We all need a bit of escapism.  What is it about these shows though?  Do those who watch these shows think that the “stars” get that we are all mocking them by watching?  Let me tell you, they don’t get it.  Why don’t they get it?  Because the noise from the engines on their private jets taking them to Aspen drowns our your laughter quite well.  If a meteor hits us in December, we deserve it for putting this crap on TV.

3. PARTNERS – This show is new this year and after only watching 1/2 of the first episode, I can safely say that if CBS continues this show, we are all doomed.  Wait, who am I kidding?  CBS doesn’t ever cancel anything.  They love to put crap on TV.  Ok.  We get it.  One of the characters is gay.  Here is something that I want to talk to CBS about and to all TV producers and writers in general.  IT’S NOT SHOCKING TO HAVE A GAY CHARACTER ON TV!!!!!!  It’s amazingly common now.  What would shock the hell out of me would be if some brave network put a gay character on TV that wasn’t just a stereotype of what people think it is to be gay.  The gay character on this show is all full of girlfriend this and girlfriend that and is so bad that we all deserve to die for it.

4. Anything presented by TYLER PERRY – At current count, Tyler Perry has 27 different TV shows, all on TBS, which is impressive since he has 94 movies out in the theaters right now, 64 more in production, and 14 stage plays that he is producing.  The reason our world deserves to end because of him is that we should have all recognized after the first show he produced that there was trouble on the horizon.  We didn’t recognize the danger signs.  Well, we might have, but everyone thought “it’s just on TBS, what harm can he do there?”  Well, we didn’t kill the first one and he multiplied.  Now we are all going to pay the price.

5. 19 KIDS AND COUNTING – Why are we following the Duggars?  Are they generally nice people?  Sure.  I don’t have any issues there.  They seem to be nice.  We should all be ashamed of watching this show because we are glorifying what is basically a cult.  You all know that right?  They are essentially a cult that is creating their own members.  They aren’t all whacko crazy like the Westboro Baptist loons, but they are a cult nonetheless.  If/When Mrs. Duggard drops another kid from the world’s busiest uterus, we are all doomed.

6. WHITNEY – Have you seen this show?  Judging from the ratings, you haven’t.  It stars comedienne Whitney Cummings, and why not right?  Shows with comedians are always funny right?  Wrong.  This show is so bad that Whitney’s own mother doesn’t even watch the show.  The fact that it got renewed for a 2nd season either means that NBC doesn’t actually read reviews or ratings reports or that Whitney Cummings has pictures of Jeff Zucker doing unspeakable things with midgets.

7. TWO AND A HALF MEN – Like I’ve said before, CBS just won’t cancel anything.  So your headline star, and arguably the only thing that you could argue even the tiniest bit made the show nearly bearable, gives you the finger and quits?  Well for most respectable networks, that would be it for the series.  What did CBS do?  Oh they went out and got camera shill Ashton Kutcher to replace Charlie Sheen.  It’s not like they tried to pull the old Dick York/Dick Sargent playing the same character gag, but it’s close to what they tried.  What’s funny is that at first the ratings were huge but then quickly started dropping which showed that America was basically tuning in for Charlie Sheen.  That this show continues on today should give us all pause and we should all be looking to the skies on December 21.

8. HERE COMES HONEY BOO BOO – Who the hell wants to watch a bunch of fat rednecks?  Well apparently all of you do.  This show is getting such huge ratings that the “stars” of the show have been given big fat (yes the pun is intended) raises to the tune of $20,000 per episode.  What are people watching this for?  Is it the REAL HOUSEWIVES syndrome where people think they are watching a car accident happen?  If so, then the joke is on all of us.  They can’t hear you laughing at them because they are currently on vacation in Europe with the cash you are giving them.  Look to the skies people.  Look to the skies.

9. THE CLEVELAND SHOW – I love FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD.  Both shows are very funny.  Seth MacFarlane is my age and his comedy speaks directly to me.  That being said, the piece of garbage that he puts out every week that is called THE CLEVELAND SHOW has us all targeted for destruction.  How does Cleveland get a spinoff?  Of all the FAMILY GUY characters that could have been spun off, he chose him?  He was at best good for one or two lines an episode.  Cleveland was good in very small doses.  Now we have to watch full episodes of him?  What’s worse is that this show is clearly starting to stretch MacFarlane as he has to write for 3 shows and it seems like he is sending some of his jokes and gags away from his two good shows to prop up his garbage show.  Not many people are watching this show so I don’t hold us all responsible in that way.  I hold us responsible because we haven’t done enough to get it cancelled.  We just sit and think that the other guy will get that done for us.  Well, we are all thinking that so the effect is that no one is working on getting the show cancelled.  We will all suffer because good people chose to do nothing.

10. THE KARDASHIAN FAMILY – I know that for some reason they have more than one show now so I will include anything that is on TV that has a Kardashian or anyone or thing related to a Kardashian or the family.  America has made these people filthy rich.  Why?  Because Kim can’t stop dating black guys and doing amateur porn? They have other talents you say?  Puhleeze I say.  What talents?  They design clothes?  Come on.  Every hip hopper and soap opera star has their own clothing line.  It doesn’t seem to be that hard.  If the Mayans turn out to be right, I hope there is a TV camera near the Kardashians on that final day.  I want one of the last things I ever see to be the reactions on their faces when they know the world is ending and it’s their fault.

11.  THE JERSEY SHORE – This is an easy one.  I don’t have to write much about it.  I blame the 20 somethings of our day for this show since they are the ones that really watch it.  If I hear another 20 something guy utter the letters GTL, I will end the world myself.  Again, America made those talentless clowns filthy rich.  You only watched the show to mock them you say?  Well the joke is on you.  Not only are they partying in the South of France on your dime, but the world is going to end and you have yourself to blame for that.


Those are some of the shows that I feel are going to end the world.  What shows do you think will bring about the end of the world?

2 Comments on Shows That Make Me Hope the Mayans Are Right

  1. Midwest Mo // October 8, 2012 at 7:54 am //

    You left a very important show off this list that I mention several times a week – BIG BROTHER.

  2. Haha! Very funny post! “World’s busiest uterus” is my favorite.

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