A funny thing happened today just after lunch as I was still sitting at work and thinking about the rest of my day. I spontaneously remembered it was Thursday and inexplicably started looking forward to watching PARTY DOWN SOUTH tonight. I might be exhibiting classic symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome, but this show gets a little bit funnier every time I watch it.
On a semi-related note, the MWTVG’s had yet another brush with fame with another celebrity commenter to our material. First it was the Usell guy who came on to comment on my article I wrote on him a long time ago. Next, RICHARD SHORT from the ‘short’-lived 666 PARK AVENUE showed us a little MWTVG blog love after I made fun of his name. Next, one of our favorite writers/creators KURT SUTTER called MIDWEST MIKE a whiney little asshole on twitter! Now to add to our laundry list of esteemed actors and Hollywood insiders, none other than MURRAY from PARTY DOWN SOUTH tweeted back at us last week that he loves doing fat guy stuff. Priceless.
Even though Cooter from THE DUKES OF HAZZARD recently hated on PARTY DOWN SOUTH by calling it a ‘vile travesty’ for a portrayal of southerners, I do kind-of like this show. It gets more and more JERSEY SHORE-ish every week which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as JERSEY SHORE was one of my guilty pleasure shows when it was on. Like I said in one of my previous PDS articles, a show like this is all about the characters, and they put together a great bunch of conflicting personalities to get wasted and fight with each other. Reality television at it finest. On the flip side of the coin, I’m surprised to find out that PARTY DOWN SOUTH isn’t quite enjoying the viewership of similar fare with a little over 600k viewers tuning in. That might be a lot for CMT, not like it has the wide viewership like MTV does.
So what went down this week on “B4”?
Mattie defended Lyle’s honor by punching some chick in the face. Their only miscalculation: it all went down in the parking lot of their job. Walt tries to play all serious and call a family meeting, but keep in mind that he had just consumed a tanker truck full of booze. For ease, I transcribed the text of his Gettysburg Address for easy digestion:
“I just want enlighten you on a problem. There’s this place down here that if y’all didn’t know that we work. So when we work there there’s thinkin that, no, that’s not where we want to be. That these people think they’re just like whatever from the ocean. You’re not from the Fukin ocean… you’re from the straight country. Let’s just give out a scenario, ok? Let’s just say you end up hookin’ up with one girl, ok? Well now you’re trying to hook up with the next girl, so this guy wants to fight. Hmm! Apparently they know each other. Now you got the scenario, whatever.. you’re a whore! So now you got your god-damn hands full, buddy. There’s aint nothin’, there ain’t nothin’ I can do now… let’s multiply, multiply, multiply and multiply. This is not my first rodeo. But I can tell you what, god damn it. These people are heathans. They’re not, they’re not of the right mind.”
Just remember where you were when you read the above for the first time. It’s one for the history books.
Suprisingly to nobody, they did not get fired and instead filled some potholes in the parking lot. And when I say “they” filled potholes, it consisted of Mattie shoveling while Murray and Lyle sat around watching.
As Lyle so eloquently stated, “I would smoke that on a hot date. With asthma.”
We also learned that Mattie’s alter-ego is named Martha, which is best described by Murray: “Martha is Mattie’s alter-ego that when she gets drunk, it all hits her all at once and then she’s just a puddle ‘o’ dumb or somethin?”
The next day was Lyle’s birthday so the house rented a party barge, woke Lyle up in a beer shower and drained a keg. Tiffany got stung by a jellyfish and everybody took turns peeing on her foot. Then they invite a congressman to do a keg stand and Lil’ Bit grilled burgers with her earrings. Walt then pisses in a bottle and Daddy mistakenly drinks it (“this tastes like horse piss…”) They go to a bar aptly named The Beaver Bar and Lil’ Bit won first place in a bikini contest. Lyle tries to pick a fight with a guy over a punching bag game and Murray sends him home. Murray then meets up with his chick again, Walt finds a girl and they all go home to bang. Lauren gets miffed that Lyle is in bed with Mattie rather than her. D R A M A!!!
The ‘newest fan of MWTVG’ Murray: “I’m about to put on a show up in this house tonight son… Cause I’m drunk, it’s gonna take me forever!”
So yeah, there we have it. Baggin’ Babes and Bongin’ Beers seems like a better name for this show every week!
Next week, they are going to drink several gallons of beer each and probably have sex with something. In full disclosure, I didn’t even watch the preview, but I bet I’m pretty close.