Midwest Mark’s 5 Worst of 2013

To provide a bit of counterbalance to last week’s Best of 2013 post, here are my picks for the 5 worst of 2013.  I make a point to not watch a ton of bad TV, but every now and again a bad show slips through to offend my better sensibilities.  This year included a couple of bad new shows and a few continuing series that continue to decline in quality.

MTV’s BUCKWILD would probably take the cake for worst show I’ve ever seen in my entire life, but that is too easy and I watched it as a joke anyway.  SLEEPY HOLLOW was also pretty awful (in my opinion) because it’s obvious that anybody who likes it has never seen the first six seasons of SUPERNATURAL and the time travel humor was entirely too derivative.  Special shout out to SYFY’s DEFIANCE, which through all the hype around the videogame tie-in looked like it was CGI animated by a spider monkey.

So what shows made the list?  Ironically, a couple of these are among the most popular shows on TV today.  So why were they so awful?  Head inside to find out!

5.  The Walking Dead – AMC


Original review here.

Let me be crystal clear with this one: I love THE WALKING DEAD like one would love an old ex girlfriend.  You might not love them, but you love the idea of them.  Hell, we even had some great times, me and THE WALKING DEAD.  Season 1 was generally wonderful.  Season 2 had its low points but was also quite excellent.  The third season started off with a bang but fizzled quickly into a big boring mess.  I was about to break it off entirely until the season 4 midseason finale when it rekindled the spark in our relationship.

So when I say that THE WALKING DEAD was among the worst of 2013, I am counting the awful second half of season 3 and most of the first half of season 4.  Now that the Governor is dead, hopefully we can get back on track.  I am planning on posting a feature next week on what we should expect when it returns in February.  I really hope they remain truer to the graphic novel at this point rather than trying to forge their own territory.


4.  True Blood – HBO


Original review found here.

TRUE BLOOD had its time in the sun (so to speak) and delivered four solid seasons of unique, original vampire-centric drama.  The cast was great, the story was great and ALAN BALL did a fine job adapting the source material into one of my favorite shows.  Then at some point it was pretty obvious that he got bored with it and bordeom resulted in a lousy and overly-claustrophobic fifth season.  Season six steered the ship around quickly, but never quite recaptured the glory of its former self.  If there was a “most improved” category, TRUE BLOOD would probably be in it.  But there is no most improved, so it got shoveled into the worst list.

They had some good cast additions with RUTGER HAUER (as an example), but they focused too much on the fairy material that I consider to be the weakest of the lot.  They also royally screwed with some of the best characters like Alcide and Sam.  Season 7 is the final season, so I hope that they send the show off with dignity rather than continue its unnecessary mediocrity.


3.  The Following – FOX


Review here.

Speaking of mediocrity, THE FOLLOWING hit me as so terribly vanilla that after about eight episodes or so, I couldn’t possibly continue with it.  In full disclosure, I desperately wanted to like this show in part because I love both KEVIN BACON and JAMES PUREFOY (who was great in the underrated JOHN CARTER and ROME, among others), but unfortunately KEVIN BACON seemed entirely uninterested and JAMES PUREFOY tried to fill the void with an almost silly amount of overacting.  The supporting cast was god-awful with Emma, Paul and Jacob dragging down the rest of the show.

All that, in addition to the storyline which felt extremely bland and contrived being based on the works of Edgar Allan Poe.  Poe is not bad at all, but the material was poorly adapted and it felt like it had all been done before.


2.  Low Winter Sun – AMC


Read the original review here.

LOW WINTER SUN was an unfortunate swing-and-a-miss from a post-BREAKING BAD AMC.  Theoretically, this should have done well for itself with a great leading man (MARK STRONG) and an established storyline from the former British series of the same name.  But it was casted very poorly with a bunch of generic/uninteresting supporting actors and the tone never quite clicked.  I couldn’t last more than two episodes of this trainwreck and cut it loose entirely.


1.  Zombieland – Amazon


Read my original review here.

With the relatively new phenomenon of non-network and non-cable shows brought to us by the likes of NETFLIX (amongst others), many other web giants jumped into the fray to bring a bunch of new series to pilot.  AMAZON was one of them and commissioned a whole bunch of terrible shows for “Amazon Pilot Season”.  The most anticipated of the bunch by far was the series based on ZOMBIELAND.

Aside from BUCKWILD, this was one of the wettest turds I have watched in a long time.  Seriously, it was shockingly awful.  First, and probably most problematic, they replaced the iconic original actors (JESSE EISENBURG, WOODY HARRELSON, EMMA STONE and ABAGAIL BRESLIN) with a bunch of no-name clowns who couldn’t capture the spirit of the original movie if they tried.

Second and equally as problematic, nothing about it was funny.  Or interesting.  Or good looking.  Seeing as it came from the same folks that did the original ZOMBIELAND, I can’t fathom how they couldn’t even bring back a small glimpse of what they did before.  Thankfully, AMAZON never ordered it to series as they damn well shouldn’t have.  To add insult to their injury, RHETT REESE blamed the whole thing on the fans.  Yes, because it didn’t have anything to do with your exceedingly piss-poor show.


MWTVG Fans… what were your picks for the worst of 2013?  Do you agree with mine?  Comment below!