So King of the Nerds Season 2 starts tomorrow. I watched and reviewed every episode last season and was kind of hoping there wouldn’t be a season 2, but just like in real life, the nerds are here to stay.
The premise of the game is simple really and pretty much follows the standard reality show script. The nerds are split into teams that compete against each other with the losing team voting out one member. They attempt to nerd it up by having challenges more suitable for the group of social outcasts assembled.
Last season I tried to predict who would win the show and came up with the NAAG Index (Not An Actual Geek). The premise is simple – the real nerds don’t really stand a chance of winning against the wannabe nerds. This is a show that comes down to voting after all and the real nerds just didn’t have the social skills necessary to survive long in the game.
So I’ve carefully developed the NAAG index which weighs several factors to determine a score. The higher your score the less likely you are to win. Scores are based upon the following criteria:
- Likelihood that you’ve killed somebody and stuffed their severed head in your freezer.
- Do you still live with your parents. If you live with your parents you are a loser and not a nerd.
- Are you still a virgin.
- Do you have boobs. It’s the goal of every real nerd to see them and if you have them you’re not a nerd.
- Do you have a job that you can’t explain to normal people.
- Have you ever recorded yourself re-enacting a Star Wars movie scene.
- Do you have a hobby that is freighting to most regular people.
- Do you know what it means to LARP.
- Does it appear that you shower at least once a day.
- Likelihood that you would wear socks with sandals.
So let’s get started, here are the nerds starting with those with the least chance of winning.
NAAG Score: 96
This is a guy the NSA probably should be keeping tabs on. He’s smart and seems to have sociopathic tendencies. Has he killed anyone and kept their head in his freezer who knows, but someone should check. I suspect he will creep out all the other contestants and make an early exit.
NAAG Score: 89
This guy scores off the charts as being one of the biggest nerds on the show. Unfortunately this means his chances of winning are very low. He seems like a nice enough nerd which may allow him to stay a few rounds before he becomes too big a threat and gets booted off the show.
NAAG Score: 80
Yep, this guy’s a nerd. He claims his IQ is 146. Very annoying in his interview. Kinda guy you really don’t want to hang out with. Some of that might have to to do with the fact he likes to wear wizard costumes. Unless he can win a bunch of challenges, I look for an early exit for Zach.
NAAG Score: 70
He’s a local boy from Grayslake, IL (a suburb of Chicago) so we’ll root for him however his high NAAG makes him a target for an early exit. He doesn’t have advanced degrees but does make money in computers which is pretty nerdy. It’s doubtful that Josh will be a serious contender in this game.
NAAG Score: 62
High NAAG score mean he has a lower chance of winning. He does a lot of nerdy things like LARP but he also happens to be gay. Why does that hurt him you might ask? Well gay men tend to have more fashion sense and are way cooler than regular guys. Also, just ask The Bachelor about how perverted the gays are meaning he’s probably not a virgin.
NAAG Score: 43
It’s not really fair putting a black guy on the show. I’ve complained about how women can’t really be nerds. This guy isn’t even close to being a nerd. Kinda racist on TBS part. Oh cause he’s a smart black guy he must be a nerd? Wasn’t Eddie Murphy available to play Norbit.
NAAG Score: 42
She’s a chemist that enjoys participating in roller derby. Not entirely sure what to do with that. If she were a guy she’d have no chance of winning this. I look for her to make a run in this game, but ultimately she has a lot of nerdy qualities that will work against her.
NAAG Score: 40
She might be one of the weakest females on the show. She’s actually kind of nerdy. Super advanced degrees and can’t find a job. Plus she plays men’s hockey. Remember, you want a low NAAG score and hers is still pretty high.
NAAG Score: 33
She has a chance of winning, problem is she’s a little too in your face. Her boobs will intimidate the nerdy guys giving her an edge. Still though, she’s a little too smart for her own good, which makes her a threat to the non-nerds.
NAAG Score: 32
Watching the video she’s definitely a weird chick that strikes me more as the type to live alone with 27 cats. However, she’s still a chick which really helps her chances. She has some weird hobbies and seems to possibly suffer from schizophrenia. Is Kelsey there? We want to talk to Kelsey.
NAAG Score: 21
During her interview she brags about how she plans on dressing cute. She’s reasonably attractive and any of the nerds will be intimidated by her. Sure she’s smart and has a weird job, but she’s too normal. Her low score makes her a favorite to win.