I Hate Train

I know this may be an unpopular position and some of you might be thinking what the hell did Train ever do to you (nothing FYI), but I hate Train.  It’s not like their songs aren’t good, it’s just that they are all the same.  He’s either in love with some girl or can’t figure out why she left him.  Honestly, doesn’t this guy have anything else going on in his life?

People give Taylor Swift a hard time for writing about her relationships but this guy seems to have more girl trouble than John Mayer.  At least Taylor Swift writes about other stuff like how she’s gonna just shake off the haters and she’s happy about being 22.  Not Train though, he’s a one trick pony.

Why the Train hate now?  I was on the treadmill this morning doing my old man workout watching VH1 morning show and another Train video came on Angel In Blue Jeans.  I wonder what this song is going to be about, it’s a head scratcher.  There’s a line, “I was shot down in cold blood by an angel in blue jeans.”  I don’t get it, you’re currently married so what are you saying, you’re out chasing women and getting shot down?

That’s just the most recent Train song.  Let’s take a look at some of their most popular songs:

Hey Soul Sister
So things are going good for him here as he meets a girl that he knows right away is the one for him.  Sure, sure it’s catchy and has a beat I can dance to.

Drive By
I swear to you, I’ll be there for you, this is not a drive by.  Sounds more like a Meat Loaf song asking if you will still love her in the morning.

Drops of Jupiter
Things are bad for Train as some girl has just returned from sleeping around with other dudes and he can only wonder if she missed him while she was out there.  Dude, have some self respect.  You’re starting to sound like Ducky from Pretty in Pink.  No chick likes that guy.

50 Ways To Say Goodbye
Yet another girl is screwing Train over and he’s decided that he’s going to tell his friends 50 different stories about how she died.  As a guy, I’m going to let that one go, I can respect that move.  Any other guy would do the same.  Still though, maybe if you weren’t so needy they might stay.

Meet Virginia
I’ve read the lyrics to this song and have no idea what he’s trying to say here.  There’s some girl named Virginia that wears her hair just right and he can’t wait to meet her.  So you haven’t met her yet and you wrote a whole song about her.  See that right there feels kind of like stalker behavior.  I know you’ll say that you’re just being romantic, but that’s what all stalkers tell the police after the bodies are discovered.

Marry Me
He talks about how love will come his way and that if he ever gets the nerve to talk to her he hopes she will marry him.  Are you kidding me?  I’m starting to think we need to maybe get this guy on a list to maybe track his whereabouts.

 

So that’s it if you’re still with me at this point I apologize for the rant but somebody needed to say something or Train will never write a song about anything else.  Also, looking at the picture of the band, has Howie Mandel always been in the band?