The Duck Dynasty Debacle, or the Problem With Rampant Douchebaggery

phil-robertson-duck-dynastyI think I can speak for all of us here at Midwest TV Guy when I say that we are three pompous self-centered and thoroughly opinionated (but oh-so-lovable and endearing) individuals.  In our cozy little corner of the interweb, at least 99% of what we write is silly and satirical… this article being no exception.  But I feel compelled to provide commentary on a disturbing trend that has been forming lately, and I think the most recent outcry surrounding DUCK DYNASTY perfectly encapulates my point: people need to stop being douchebags.

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past 36 hours, A&E fired Phil (he’s the one with the beard) from their ratings-darling DUCK DYNASTY after he went on a strange little rant in an interview with GQ Magazine about how he disagrees with the homosexual lifestyle.  Of course everybody and their gay uncles claimed “outrage” to the less-than eloquent stylings of a self-proclaimed backwoods hillbilly redneck.  Now everybody and their black uncles are “outraged” at his depiction of working alongside African Americans in the cotton fields in Louisiana because he called them “godly and happy”.  Bleeding heart conservatives are quick to defend his inherent and infallible right to free expression and bleeding heart liberals are quick to paint him as a bigger racist than George Zimmerman before him.

I don’t care if you are the biggest DUCK DYNASTY fan on the planet and will defend Phil until the day you die, the fact is that he is a prominent public figure and has one of the biggest shows in the history of television, and what he said was really freaking douchey.

That said, it does not exonerate the douchebags who became instantly offended nor does it forgive the douchebags who immediately defended his ‘right to free speech’.  And has anybody considered the fact that GQ was relatively douchey for publishing it in the first place?  A&E’s exponentially douchey response was to immediately fire him when bigger idiots say dumber things (on live television nonetheless) and face no repercussions.  Am I saying that he should be able to disparage an entire group of people and emerged unscathed?  No.  But we only have one life to live, folks… learn to let some things go.

As a point of clarification: Just because Phil “lives by christian principles” does not give him the right to be a giant douche.  I’m 99% sure that Jesus himself would have been ‘one of the guys’ and about the furthest thing from a douche there was.  He would have taken that douche and turned it to wine or something equally as awesome.  So quit hiding behind religion as an excuse to be a raving douche.

Equally, just because you’re gay (or straight, or white, or black, or a dude, or a chick, or xyz grouping of people) does not give you the right to answer douche with more douche.  Settle down.  Let a lunatic be a lunatic.  In many ways, your outrage is more outrageous than the source.  Be as gay as you want to be, it’s none of my damn business.  I live and let live.  Because I’m not a douchebag.

What we have on our hands here is one giant supersoaker fight with vinegar and water, and a little splash of douche in the eye makes everyone cry.

Where is this all going?  Don’t fire Phil.  If he looks like a redneck and smells like a redneck and acts like a redneck, he’s damn well going to talk like a redneck.  Is anybody honestly surprised?  If you don’t like it, then don’t watch it.  If you do like it, then tune in.  That’s how America works, folks.  Sit down.  Breathe.  Continue visiting our blog on a daily basis.  Life is too short to douche it all away.