Did You Hear That Ripping Sound?

That ripping sound you might have heard at around 11:30 central time today was the sound of the space time continuum being ripped apart.  What caused this universal level disaster?  ESPN.

We found out today what would happen if an immovable object meets an unstoppable force.  It happened without warning today.  NASA’s best scientists were caught completely off guard and there was no warning given to humanity.

Today, on ESPN’s SUNDAY NFL COUNTDOWN, Chris Berman introduced the newest member of the COUNTDOWN staff, Frank Calliendo.  Now we have a show that features Chris Berman, widely recognized as the one thing most likely to cause the end of the universe, and Frank Calliendo, widely believe to be the most un-funny human (I don’t count Dane Cook because he is not really human) in existence.

So now what we get is hours of having to listen to Berman refer to the Giants as the New York Football Giants followed by Calliendo doing an impression of Berman calling them the New York Football Giants.  We have just entered the 5th circle of hell.

I am not a biblical scholar, but if I remember correctly, this exact situation was foretold in Revelations wasn’t it?  I feel like it was.