I know I’m late with this one but trust me, if absolutely anything comes up that will allow me to put off watch The Bachelor until later, I’m going to do it. They keep trying to get me to watch Sunday and Monday but let me say this clearly so ABC understands, there is no way I’m watching this show more than just the one day a week. I mean really ABC. There is only so much a man can take with this show so I’ll stick to just one night a week. Anyway. We have to talk about this week so here it is, better late than never, our discussion of The Bachelor 2014 Week 3.
I’ve already addressed Juan Pablo’s idiotic comments regarding the possibility of a gay bachelor so I won’t go over that again. We’ll stick to the show this week and we’ll all just keep in mind for the rest of this season that while Juan Pablo might be good looking on the outside, that beauty appears to be only skin deep. That’s pretty shocking I know for a guy who would go on a reality dating show, twice, to find love, but that’s where we are with Juan Pablo. I’d love to know from you ladies. Did his comments from several days ago change your opinion of him? Be sure to let us know. Let’s get on to the dates.
The First Date
The first solo date of this week went to 21 year old former NBA dancer Cassandra. If you read the big Bachelor preview, I predicted Cassandra to be the one most likely to boil a family’s pet rabbit on their stove. First, she’s 21. There is no such thing on the planet earth as a sane 21 year old woman. She is also a former NBA dancer. That steps up her crazy level. How much do you love her occupation? If someone asks you what you do for work do you tell them what you used to do? Who does that? It’s a major red flag to me and sane dudes every where.
So they go on their date and I couldn’t stop focusing on the funny things Cassandra kept saying. Remember she is just 21 so time means something totally different to her than it does to other adults. She talks about how long it’s been since her last first date and it’s been three years. She said it like it was a lifetime ago and she comes out with three years. I guess for her three years is a long time since she was probably still in high school and she was not yet a former NBA dancer, she was just a future NBA dancer at that point.
I’m sure the producers make each of women talk to the camera after each interaction they have with Juan Pablo and make them say that they could see him as their future husband. I know that it’s mostly women who watch this show but ladies, let me tell you from a man’s perspective, that kind of talk is just lunacy. If you are on a first date with a man and he hears you even hint about husband/wife talk trust me, he won’t be giving you a rose. I know the point of this show is that someone is getting “married” at the end of it and I know I’m being too rational watching a show for women, but really, this is crazy.
Cassandra ends up getting a rose from Juan Pablo so rabbits everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief. They won’t be getting boiled in a pot tonight. Cassandra is not yet a former NBA dancer/former Bachelor contestant.
The Group Date
Hey everyone. Did you know that Juan Pablo played soccer? Hey ABC? Do you want to know what sport both men and women in America come together in agreement as being the most boring? It’s soccer. I know there is a very good sports department there at ABC (they own ESPN) but I’m sure the legitimate TV people there in the sports department don’t let anyone from The Bachelor anywhere near them. If they did, I’m sure they would have told them to get away from the soccer stuff. Even watching the date where they tried playing soccer was so boring I nearly fell asleep.
I have to ask the ladies again, he keeps saying how much he loves soccer and clearly he does. He gave it all up for his daughter though. The amount he talks about soccer makes me wonder if he regrets the decision. I don’t know but I think he might. Also, ladies, if he was willing to quit this thing that he clearly loves for his daughter, what chance do you think you stand in that relationship?
How bout that Juan Pablo? Making out with two different women on the same date? One of them right in plain view of the other women even. The guy has got guts that’s for sure. Sharleen makes me laugh. I’d ask if any of you watching The Bachelor are familiar with Family Guy, but I’m pretty sure I know that answer. Sharleen reminds me of Brian when he was on The Bachelorette. The entire time he pretends to hate being there and talks about what a joke it is but secretly, he wants to win. Sharleen is Brian. She acts like she is better than all of this and that she doesn’t buy in to it at all but when push comes to Juan Pablo kissing other women, she gets upset just like the rest of the women.
Here’s the gutsiest thing Juan Pablo did on the group date. He made out with two different women, with all of the other women knowing it, and then gives a rose to a third woman, Nikki. Juan Pablo is obviously not afraid to do whatever the heck he feels like doing. Ladies, if you want a Latin lover remember, he has a reputation for a reason. Enjoy that.
The Second Date
The second solo date went to Chelsie. There was some drama there as Elise seems to think that she was going to be the one to get the date card. She explained after Chelsie’s date that she was frustrated because she thinks that Chelsie is more of a little girl than a woman. Meow.
The date consisted of Venezuelan food and then bungee jumping. Chelsie did not want to bungee jump but Juan Pablo was able to use his charm and smooth talking to get her to finally do it. Chelsie of course interprets this as Juan Pablo being future husband material.
Watching Chelsie on this date made me believe that Elise wasn’t far off in her assessment of Chelsie. I do a thing on my FB page about laws that will be enacted once I take over the world. One of the earliest decrees was that anyone who utters the word “epic” will be sent to a reeducation camp. Chelsie will be going to one of those camps when I take over the world. She came off as very immature on her date and I think Elise is probably right. Did it bother Juan Pablo? Of course not. He gave Chelsie a rose at the end of their date keeping her safe for another week.
The Cocktail Party
Juan Pablo surprises the ladies by showing up to the house to cook breakfast. The women had no idea he was going to be there so none of them had their faces on. Some dealt with it well and some weren’t happy. What was supposed to be a cocktail party was turned in to a pool party instead. Good news for all of us because we got Juan. Pablo. Shirtless!!!!!! What the what!! Did you see that! I can hardly breathe. I am totally verklempt.
Cracks are starting to show in the relationships between the women. As more of them get solo dates with Juan Pablo and start to feel like he belongs to them, we are starting to see our good friend jealousy rear it’s ugly head.
Sharleen does her best Brian impression and again pretends like she is not right for the show. Juan Pablo has to comfort her and even though she claims to not be right for the show, she cries over Juan Pablo. I don’t buy her act at all. While she is pretending to be the most sane and rational person in the bunch, I am quickly starting to wonder if she might not be the craziest of them all. She ends up making out with Juan Pablo, again, with all of the ladies trying to spy on them, again. It’s getting crazy up in hurr.
The jealousy is very funny to me. All of the women on this show have proclaimed themselves to be big fans of The Bachelor/The Bachelorette. They know how this show works. They understand what they are getting in to. I don’t get why they are getting jealous. They knew what was going to happen on this show. Did they think that they were going to be the one to make Juan Pablo say “Wow she’s amazing! I quit guys because I’ve met the one!” Juan Pablo ends up having to calm Clare down after her feelings get hurt.
The Rose Ceremony
Let’s just get to it. Two women were eliminated in the rose ceremony. They are:
We lost a Chicago girl with Christy getting eliminated. She never really had an opportunity to make an impact (make out) with Juan Pablo so it’s not really a surprise to see her go. I am surprised to see Lucy get eliminated. She seemed to be the most open and fun of all the women and I picked her as one of the favorites to win. With Lucy out of the race, Assistant District Attorney Andi is becoming my new favorite to win. We’ll see though. She’s smart and she’s an adult. I don’t think Juan Pablo is attracted to that kind of thing.
So ladies. What do you think? Who is your favorite so far? Who’s eyes do you want to scratch out? What do you think of Juan Pablo? Is he living up to everything you thought? Be sure to let us know and be sure to keep tuning in as I continue to watch week after week of The Bachelor on ABC.