The Bachelor 2014 Week 1

bachelor 2014 week 7


Thanks for stopping by. Here is our week 2 recap the most recent episode on 1/13/14.

I am a man so I was watching the national championship game last night. I apologize to the fans who were waiting with baited breath for my thoughts on the Bachelor 2014 week 1. While I will be watching The Bachelor this season, absolutely any time there is anything else on I want to watch, The Bachelor will be relegated to the DVR for later watching. So I caught up today on the DVR watched the 2 hour episode. 2 friggen hours! That’s 3 hours of The Bachelor this week. Come on ABC. It’s like you are daring people to not watch. Well let’s get this going. Let’s discuss The Bachelor 2014 week 1.

Let me start by saying that I am watching the show from a man’s perspective. I think that is going to upset some of the fans of this show because I am far too analytical and far too cynical to believe in a show like this. Obviously you have to be a hopeless romantic to buy in to a show like The Bachelor. That is not me. I don’t believe any of these women for a second. Not one of them is actually there looking for love. Every one of them is there hoping to be the next Bachelorette or for some other opportunity to start their acting career. How do I know this? Well, look at the numbers. They aren’t good. Only 5 out of 24 couples that were set up either on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette are still together. One of those couples wasn’t even the one that got together at the end of their show. Another girl was proposed to but that bachelor ended up with another from his show. That’s less than 16% success for these shows. So as you watch this season of The Bachelor, know that there is a less than 1 in 5 chance of it working out.

So we start the Monday episode of The Bachelor with a look at the man himself, Juan Pablo. Are any of you who watch this show familiar with a show called Burning Love? If you are a fan of The Bachelor/Bachelorette, and you have a sense of humor, you would love Burning Love. It’s a spoof of dating shows directed by Ken Marino (The State) and starring June Diane Raphael (New Girl) and lots of other big names. Anyway, I bring it up because on the most recent season of Burning Love, there was a character (played by Joe Lotruglio) who could not ever stop crying about his daughter. His character has got to be based on Juan Pablo.

Ladies, are you watching him with his daughter? I don’t have any doubt that Juan Pablo is a good dad but do you get the feeling that there is no way any woman will ever really have a chance in his family? Is he looking for a wife and partner or someone to help him with his daughter? I get a vibe from him that he is not really open for a relationship. I’m sure the ladies are all goo goo over watching him play with his daughter thinking what a good dad he is but as a dude, I’m thinking no ladies really have a chance with him.

Let me criticize another thing about this season of The Bachelor. ABC, more is not always better. Just because there was a huge response to Juan Pablo being this season’s Bachelor, it doesn’t mean you have to bring on 100 women. What is the point anyway? You are getting rid of so many of them so early with Juan Pablo having nothing more than a first impression to go on for making the decision.

The Bachelor 2014 Week 1 – The Arrivals and Meetings

I don’t envy the women meeting Juan Pablo. You have this one moment to make an impression and you have to do something to make yourself stand out without coming off as crazy or desperate. Well, more desperate than showing up on a reality TV dating show. On this season, with so many women, it could be their only one on one time with Juan Pablo. That being said, I think the arrivals went pretty well. Some attempts at humor fell short or missed their mark but at least they tried. I had predicted that there would be someone who showed up in a wedding dress and while my prediction was wrong, I wasn’t too far off.

Did you see Clare? I swear I almost picked her to show up in a wedding dress but I thought it would be too easy of a choice since she is tied for the oldest on the show. I knew I should have gone with my gut instinct. She didn’t show up in a wedding dress but she showed up with a baby bump! Are you fricken kidding me! She got out of the limo looking pregnant. She said to Juan Pablo that she knows he has a daughter and that he wants more kids so… I know she was trying to make an impression and she sure did. She’s crazy. I am writing this as I am watching so I don’t know yet if she makes the cut but if Juan Pablo has any sense at all (which I question since he’s on this show) he would toss this nut job immediately.

You know who I wasn’t wrong about. Amy J. I had predicted her to be the one to show up in a wedding dress because I get a crazy vibe from her. I was not wrong. She’s a massage therapist so what did she try to do with her bit of one on one time with Juan Pablo? She gave him a massage. I think she was getting in to it a bit too much and it came off as totally crazy and now I question what type of place it is she actually works at. My guess is it’s the kind of massage place you would find around any military base in the country. Again, I’m writing this as I’m watching so I don’t know if Amy J. is going to make the cut but if it were me on this show (and I totally have the abs for it), I would send Amy J. and her essential oils packing back to her happy ending spa.

The first one to cry:

Lauren H. I’m sure it is difficult to try to make an impression. There are so many women and only so few roses available. Juan Pablo is going to make cuts based on mostly first impressions. Lauren H. is fully aware of this and she recognized that she wasn’t getting any time alone with Juan Pablo. Not getting time limits your chances of surviving to the point of being selected for next seasons The Bachelorette and that is upsetting. I can understand how she feels but crying is certainly not going to get the job done. You can only pull out crying later in the season when America has grown to love you. At that point fans of the show will be crying along with you. Now, the women in the audience are thinking “that bit*h is crazy.” Lauren is a mineral coordinator in real life and I don’t know much about mineral coordinating but I do know this. There is no crying in mineral coordinating and there is no crying on the first week of The Bachelor.

Lauren H. eventually does get her one on one time with Juan Pablo and immediately pulls out the victim card. I am again not a hopeless romantic and as a cynic, I am not a fan of victims. I don’t know if women think that there will be some man out there to save them but to me, as a dude watching this show, I can think of few more things that are a bigger turn off than a victim. Don’t tell me your sob story when I’m meeting you for the first time. As I get to know you, sure, tell me that stuff. But for a first impression? If that is what you are coming with as your high point, what else is there that you think is too bad to share with me? Lauren H.? A sane guy, one who doesn’t go on reality dating shows, would show you back to the mine that you work in (I assume mineral coordinators spend a lot of time in mines).

Head to page 2 to find out who received roses (spoilers ahead)