Author Archives: Midwest Mark

Supernatural Season 8 Review

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Warning: mild spoilers abound.

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The 8th season of SUPERNATURAL wrapped on Wednesday to a phenomenally cool scene with a nearly-dead Sam, Dean and Castiel standing outside a chapel watching thousands of angels being expelled from heaven as they rain down to Earth in fiery comets.

With as great as the last twenty seconds of the season were, one would imagine the rest of it would have been equally as good.  Sad to say no, but glad to say that it was an enormous leap forward from an abysmal season 7.  With SERA GAMBLE tapping out as showrunner from 7 and JEREMY CARVER triumphantly returning, it was almost as if Cpt. Smith handed the wheel to his co-captain right after drunkenly blasting the Titanic straight into the iceberg and blaming him for not keeping it afloat.  Luckily, Carver was able to get back on track quickly but not without hiccups.

A whole bunch more inside! Continue reading →

Keeping it Classy: Zombieland Writer Blames Fans

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zomhWriter/Producer RHETT REESE tweetered on Twitter last night to (I don’t use Twitter, so the syntax is foreign to me) regarding the cancellation of the ZOMBIELAND series by Amazon.  How does a filmmaker take a bad situation and make it worse?  Call out their fans:

I’ll never understand the vehement hate the pilot received from die-hard Zombieland fans. You guys successfully hated it out of existence.

It’s the fans fault?  Certainly not the fault of the terrible casting decisions, sub-par script or awful special effects.  It’s the fans.  I consider myself a fan of ZOMBIELAND, so it’s my fault.  Perhaps single handedly my fault.  Rumor has it that several Amazon executives are avid fans of MWTVG, so perhaps my scathingly critical review constituted the event horizon of cancellation.  Granted, rumor also has it that Elvis is alive, Bigfoot runs around the woods, aliens landed at Roswell and that some cosmic Jewish zombie grants immortality, so take that all for what you will.

No Rhett, fault for the ZOMBIELAND pilot’s failure rests squarely on the shoulders of your overinflated expectations.  Let it go before you damage the chances of a ZOMBIELAND 2.

Amazon Passes on Zombieland Pilot

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zombieland

Not like I can blame them much…

Based on the content of my previous review, the pilot was awfully sub par (to say the least).  But I am moderately surprised about the pass seeing as there were other people out there in the interwebz who actually found something to enjoy about it.  Major networks pick up enough steaming heaps of garbage on a regular basis, so I half-expected a near immediate series order of it.

After further thought in the days after watching/reviewing, it’s almost a shame to see a series come from such a great movie written by the exact same writers suck so hard.  The issue simply had to be budget, and maybe (just maybe…) if it was picked up by somebody willing to sink more than $1.49 into the actors and special effects it could be better.

But alas, ZOMBIELAND dies on the vine.  Is anybody truly upset?  If you are, just settle down and watch the movie again for the 54th time.

F*** NBC – A Brief Addendum

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Hannibal - Season 1Hello NBC, MIDWEST MARK here.  You need to understand that a chronic lack of sleep and near-complete neglect of the levels of his perscription meds makes MIDWEST MO a little punchy every now and again.  It is true that you hurt his feelings by cancelling some of his favorite shows, but we are merely a group of dudes here at MWTVG and have the standard male inability of expressing ourselves appropriately.

Letting cooler heads prevail for a moment, go ahead and cancel whatever shows you would like.  We will probably keep watching since you are one of the major outlets of televised entertainment.  We understand you will replace the freshly cancelled sitcoms with brand new sitcoms featuring different actors (and similar storylines) and MIDWEST MO might be able to laugh once more.

All that being said, listen to me carefully.  If you cancel HANNIBAL, I will probably take a chainsaw to my television and never watch anything ever again.  So your network would be single-handedly responsible for every network being absent one more viewer.  Would you really like that burden on your souls?  I didn’t think so.

We will expect a season 2 order for HANNIBAL shortly.  Do I smell an exclusive scoop?  Email me.

Your Friend,

MIDWEST MARK

New Fall Shows – Trailer Reviews!

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Human.6Here at MWTVG, your trusty author and confidant MIDWEST MARK is here to bring you the latest and greatest in new television shows as they get picked up for the Fall season.  As long as they’re not comedies.  MIDWEST MARK doesn’t watch comedies.  Leave that to MIDWEST MO.  Leave THE BACHELORETTE Pt. 9 for MIDWEST MIKE.

To clarify my prior point, by “latest and greatest” I only mean “latest”, because it’s really difficult to tell what out of any of these could be considered “greatest”.  There are only a few shows that pique my interest in the first place, and here are my thoughts on each of them.  To be totally honest, I’m way more excited for the return of some of the year-after-year mainstays such as AMERICAN HORROR STORY and THE WALKING DEAD rather than suffer through getting into some new show that has mediocrity issues and is bound to get cancelled anyway.

Before you go inside to check everything out, how about you head over to Facebook and like us?  We like you, whether you know it or not.  How creepy is that?  I’ll leave it up to you to judge. Continue reading →

Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal

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Ryan_Gosling__won__1725954qIn the latest randomized internet meme aptly named “Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal”, the ever-forlorn RYAN GOSLING facially emotes about his distaste for spoonfuls of cereal.  It might sound silly, but I found it downright hilarious.  More than likely, RYAN GOSLING is just trying to keep his abs chiseled by cutting out simple carbs.

Hey girl, remember that Frosted Flakes is part of a balanced breakfast.  Does anybody else think it looks like they are trying to feed him a spoonful of Goldfish?  In that case, I don’t blame him one bit for being ungrateful.  Are they Corn Pops?  Who the heck eats Corn Pops anyway?!?  Not RYAN GOSLING, that’s for true.

tumblr_lqkkfzx9cq1qbxgedo1_500Before you accuse me of scope-creep again by supposedly turning to movies rather than staying on track with television-related topics, bear in mind that RYAN GOSLING starred in Young Hercules as Hercules himself in the late 90′s.  Remember that?  Me neither.  So stop criticizing me already.

And furthermore, before you accuse me of not being a MWTVG since I bring up RYAN GOSLING in the first place, just remember that he was awesome in DRIVE.

Now watch and laugh:

ABC Picks Up “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

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Marvels-agents-of-shield[1]In a move that surprises no one, ABC has given the official series order for MARVEL’S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.  Effectively a TV spinoff of events directly following THE AVENGERS, it will follow mysteriously un-deceased Agent Coulson (reprised by CLARK GREGG) and a team of agents “protecting the ordinary from the extraordinary”.  There is no definitive word on whether or not the show will feature any of the major Marvel superheroes, but the rumor mill has been spinning about The Hulk making at least a brief appearance early on.

More + official show description inside! Continue reading →

Hannibal – “Sorbet” Review

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MV5BMjAyODgwNzcxNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzcwMzY0OQ@@._V1._SX399_SY600_“Before we begin, you must all be warned:  Nothing here… is vegetarian.”

At risk of sounding like a broken record, this week’s episode of HANNIBAL was simply outstanding.  I know that I have bragged about this show in the past, but tonight’s episode far exceeded anything I would have ever expected.

We were treated to a much more Hannibal-centric episode of HANNIBAL this time around. The show, much like the movies, has Dr. Lecter existing as almost an incidental character with the major action revolving around Will and Jack’s manhunt for the Chesapeake Ripper.  This time around, we see much more of Hannibal’s day-to-day and get to understand a bit more of what makes him tick.

GILLIAN ANDERSON guest stars as Dr. Lecter’s psychiatrist because for some reason psychiatrists also need psychiatrists much like Barbara Streisand champions the notion that people need people.  The addition of Gillian Anderson was great, and we finally got to see some of the murderous side of Hannibal, but the real ‘meat’ of the episode (so to speak) was all of the scenes of ‘culinary delight’ as he prepares a feast for his crowd of artsier friends.  MADS MIKKELSEN’S performance was nothing short of mesmerizing and everything being set to symphony and opera was a great touch.  The concluding thirty seconds of the episode were brilliant.

I would like to lodge a passionate and heartfelt plea to the higher powers within NBC making renewal/cancellation choices over the next several days:  Please do not cancel this show.  I would argue that the singular reason ratings have been less than stellar is your doofus-quality decision to stick it in a Thursday night timeslot.  Renew and rework the overall schedule, and this can easily be one of your top drama shows for the duration of BRYAN SINGER’S seven-season vision.

A+++ and easily the best episode of network television I have seen so far this year.

They’re Felony Charges, Charlie Brown

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charlieIn what could possibly be divine inspiration for the latest and greatest CHARLIE BROWN special, the original voice actor for the animated character was sentenced to one year behind bars for stalking and domestic violence.  PETER ROBBINS was given 10 years probation, a $15,000 fine, restraining order and a year in drug and alcohol rehab facility for his arrest in January.  Do you think he yelled “Aaugh!” when they cuffed him?  That would be one dashboard cam shot I would pay to see.  Forget you and your “standing on American soil” antics, REESE WITHERSPOON…

According to the police, Robbins was angered about his girlfriend not returning his car and dog.  So what else would a grown man do than threaten to kill her and her son?  Sounds like a pretty rational response to me.  He also followed and threatened her plastic surgeon to demand a refund for a botched boob job. 

Oh Charlie, how the years have been unkind to you.