I have put off watching ARROW for three days now because I finally decided over the midseason break that I can easily live without it. In fact, I decided to stop watching it all together. For some reason I continue expecting it to magically improve. Sometimes I even find myself thinking that it’s still my fault and that it’s me missing something about ARROW seeing as it remains generally popular in the ratings. Has ARROW given me some twisted version of Stockholm Syndrome? I can’t be for sure, but this show is genuinely bad and I just can’t take it anymore.
In efforts to delay the inevitable, I want and saw MAMA which was thoroughly frightening, satisfying, sad and totally deserving of its number 1 spot for the weekend. I’m pretty sure that GUILLERMO DEL TORO can do no wrong. Go and see for sure, unless you are especially sensitive about movies featuring creepy kids. Which is the exact reason why my wife hated it.
Now let’s screw up a perfectly good evening by turning on ARROW.
ARROW “returns” from the midseason break to a bunch more blank stares, bad dialogue and slo-mo closeup shots of Oliver working out without a shirt on. After being shot a few times by the “Dark Arrow” from last episode, Oliver is reduced to being a whiny little baby and refuses to be a vigilante anymore.
In a great example of poor timing on Oliver’s part, some guy in firefighter garb decides to start spraying turpentine all over other firemen and set them on fire. Laurel calls the Green Arrow hotline to recruit him to help on the investigation. Oliver dons the cape and confronts ‘Firefly’ but has a major case of performance anxiety when he can’t fire one off when it really matters.
It turns out that the Firefly character is a former fireman who was abandoned in a building by the fire chief and happened to live. At a benefit for the murdered firefighters families, Firefly arrives to exact his revenge on the chief. He attacks the chief right in front of Oliver and instead of being a man and helping the poor guy, Oliver runs away to change into his superhero clothes first. When confronted, Firefly walks into the fire and kills himself to officially make the worst anticlimactic villain death on this show thus far.
Here’s my question… why are Oliver and Diggle squabbling over Oliver wanting to take a little break from being Green Arrow? Diggle has donned the cape more than once at this point… why doesn’t he just do it himself?
By the way, the fire chief is played by DANNY NUCCI who plays a bunch of smaller roles here and there, most notably THE ROCK and ERASER.
So there… after this, MIDWEST MARK and ARROW officially part ways. Don’t worry, Arrow. It wasn’t me–it was totally you.