Around the Web for 3-11-2014

imagesThere must be some kind of way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief.
Business men – they drink my wine
Plowmen dig my earth
None will level on the wine
Nobody of it is worth.

-Mr. Hendrix

Here’s what is going on around the web for 3-11-2014:

  • Not even a naked Lena Dunham in the garden of eden can help SNL’s ratings as they posted the second-lowest viewership of the season thus far (entertainmentwise)
  • Poor guy: 1/20th of the Duggar clan named “Jessa” is waiting until her wedding night for her first kiss.  They even refrain from holding hands.  In the meantime, their relationship will consist of seductive winks, deep conversation, fleeting side-hugs, vigorous prayer and boatloads of guilt. (Radar Online)
  • A bunch of idiots think it’s a good idea to ban the word “Bossy” to encourage young girls to take leadership roles in the workplace.  Because banning words is a great American pasttime.  What other woman-centric words will be banned next?  How about “Chatty”, because every word that comes out of their mouths is fascinating?   “Homely” because every girl should feel like a princess, no matter how homely they are?  How about “Hormonal” because we should view even the mildest of mood swings as being glimpses into the uniqueness of her personality, batshit crazy nonwithstanding.   As long as we don’t ban “sandwich” as in, “quit being so bossy and go make me a sandwich”, then everything is a-ok.  Here are ten other decisive word banning victories throughout history:  (Time)
  • Nicki Minaj is better when not “singing”, if that is what you can call “singing” anyway. (Celebuzz)
  • Watch JUSTIN BIEBER trying to be a hardass while in deposition for his trial.  If I were the prosecution, I would go for the maximum sentence: full-on waterboarding at Gitmo.  Or does France have any more of their old guillotines laying around?  I think we can put one of them to good use. (billboard)
  • Now that TRUE DETECTIVE has wrapped for the season, we have about a month to wait for GAME OF THRONES to start back up for its fourth season.  Check out the new promo released today!  (iwatchstuff)
  • Oh, that whole ROBIN THICKE and PAULA PATTON thing from last week?  Nevermind, they’re staying together now.  According to TMZ, “Robin Thicke has made significant headway in his campaign to win his wife back”.  By “significant headway”, I think they mean to say “sleeping with reduced numbers of other women”.  (Celebitchy)

For the hot chick of the day, I debated on Errol’s half-sister from TRUE DETECTIVE because she was such a looker, but settled for LILI SIMMONS instead.

lili-simmons-maxim-03