Around the Web – 12/19/2013

around_the_webYou can’t ask me to make dinner, Lois. That’s like asking me to choose between Sarah Jessica Parker and Kirsten Dunst in a ‘hot body, weird face’ contest, it can’t be done.

-Peter Griffin

At our staff meeting last night, I was chastised for not ‘following the right format’ for my now twice-weekly Around the Web segments.  I regret the error of my ways and will not rest until I find the party or parties responsible for his heinous act.

  • TILA TEQUILA has never quite been up to a poet laureate level of eloquence, but who knew that she was completely batshit crazy?  She took to her blog recently to expose the truth about Nazis, interstellar conspiracies and the “Jewlluminati” which I can only assume is the latest and greatest flavor of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.  Shut up and make another sex tape already… (The Raw Story)
  • Who didn’t see this coming?  BRIAN GRIFFIN is alive and well in the latest episode of FAMILY GUY.  Because blatantly killing off main characters is never a great move.  Just imagine if they killed off half the Stark family in GAME OF THRONES!  Wait, *checks notes* they did kill off half the Stark family in GAME OF THRONES?!  Well then, belated spoiler alert.  (Contact Music)
  • Batman or Superman?  Tough question, although I would argue that Batman has had a better cinematic go of it lately.  Superman is a little boring to me, because we all know that no matter what they throw at him, he can’t possibly die.  Unless they threw Doomsday at him… that messed ‘ol Supes up a little bit.  But he was spontaneously resurrected which means that Superman is most likely Jesus.  What does that make you when you vote against Jesus for christsakes?  A big jerk.  There’s my reasoning, now watch a bunch of movie stars take their pick. (Geekologie)
  • DYLAN SPROUSE from THE SUITE LIFE OF ZACK AND CODY fame has leaked nude pics that hit the internet the other day.  I refuse to look at them, but I have 5 bucks riding on the assumption that he sits down to pee, if you catch my drift. (The Celebrity Cafe)  Not meaning to put a damper on your morning, (and to make MIDWEST MIKE’S day just a little happier), here is a little NSFW (actually, alotta NSFW) gallery of Eva Green from CAMELOT. (egotastic)
  • alexandra-breckenridge-wallpapersHot chick of the day is ALEXANDRA BRECKENRIDGE from AMERICAN HORROR STORY and TRUE BLOOD (Mandatory)

1 Comment on Around the Web – 12/19/2013

  1. I can’t put my finger on it, but your formatting looks excellent.

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