Here’s what is going on around the web on Tuesday.
BRUCE JENNER… what the hell, man? Three days ago he wanted to shave off his adam’s apple, now he claims he is cancelling the procedure after all. Out of everything I need to worry about as a man, my trachea is very last on the list. Right below getting hit by a meteor and homicidal midget strippers. How far the great have fallen… at this point you’re doing it to yourself, bro. As a bonus, go check out the season finale of South Park for a little extra jab at the Kardashians. It was the Funniest episode of SOUTH PARK in a long time.
Speaking of midgets, here is the entire movie ELF summarized in two minutes in the style of SNES 16-bit animation. I’m no fan of WILL FERRELL in general (because he’s 95% assclown), but this is a version of a Will Ferrell movie that I can stand watching. Now I want to break out my old Super Nintendo and rock some Link to the Past!
Speaking of Zelda, guess what the number 6 best selling adult print book on Amazon was in 2013? Hyrule Historia, the book dedicated to the history of THE LEGEND OF ZELDA. Beaten only by Dan Brown and a few other books I could care less about.
COURTNEY STODDEN is now a brunette. Wait, Courtney Stodden has hair? This whole time I thought she was a floating pair of fake breasts. Give Bruce Jenner 5 years, and I have a feeling he will look somewhat similar.
Let’s go in halfsies: MICHAEL JORDAN’S mansion in Highland Park failed to sell earlier today in an auction. Do you think they will take an IOU from my Mega Millions winnings? Anyway, the square footage is a bit light for my tastes…
Hot Chick of the day: LAURA HADDOCK from DA VINCI’S DEMONS