Congratulations! You’ve destroyed the vile Red Falcon and saved the universe. Consider yourself a hero.
It’s Thursday already, and often times I find it difficult to be witty on a Thursday. The irony is that I write these articles on Wednesday nights (trade secrets = minds blown), so possibly it’s just a slow news day overall. Regardless, enjoy the menagerie of Around the Web-ness I’ve chosen for you today! Here’s the news from around the web for 1-23-2014.
- Rickrolling might have been all the craze five years ago, but since my mental capacity is not that much greater than a five year old, I still think it’s hilarious. Be witness to perhaps the single greatest rickroll of all time… (io9)
- The lord works in mysterious ways. For example, starving kids in foreign countries? Forget about ’em. An 11-year-old KATY PERRY praying for a killer set of knockers? (not making that one up) Well, at least god has his priorities straight… keep up the good work, bro. (GQ)
- Either GWEN STEFANI just got finished eating at Chipotle, or she might be pregnant again. I can’t really tell. Or maybe that’s Kuato under there? Get your ass to Mars. (Starpulse)
- Speaking of Total Recall, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER went undercover at Gold’s Gym as a trainer. By “undercover” I mean putting on a bad handlebar mustache and talking in his best creepy ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER impression. His best advice to a woman doing delt raises? “When it burns it grows.” Allegedly, he gave similar advice to his old housekeeper. Ba-da-bing Ba-da-boom double entendre! (Bustle)
- What is the newest flavor of Jelly Belly jellybean? No, it’s not a “Colorado Special,” they made a jelly bean that tastes like beer. Now if they only make a jellybean that tastes like cigarettes and another one that tastes like disappointment, kids can finally know what it’s like to grow up (Parade)
- You read Parade Magazine?? -Stewie Griffin
- BILL COSBY is returning to television? Supposedly he is going to star in a family sitcom on NBC. After THE COSBY SHOW and, more recently COSBY, I predict the new show is going to simply be called COS. (Deadline)
Hot chick of the day: GENEVIEVE CORTESE from the classic seasons of SUPERNATURAL (Special Note: as a general rule, we try to link out to a gallery of hot pictures of the hot chick of the day, but it seems like the interwebz have been taken over by ‘mom’ pictures of GENEVIEVE CORTESE rather than ‘hot’ pictures of GENEVIEVE CORTESE. Perhaps the image below is among the last of the evidence. This is as close as I could find: fanpop)