I was not so much invested in this season of THE VOICE as I was in many of the prior seasons… which wasn’t really Shakira or Usher’s fault per se, but I feel like the formula is getting a bit tiresome. Different people essentially sing the same songs twice per year… where is my motivation to continue watching? Furthermore, this season was ridiculously country-centric which is fine in small doses, but lousy to build a top rated show around.
If this season got any more country, I would feel obligated to pound a shot, beat my dog, divorce my wife and ride off victorious in my rusty Ford pickup. Lucky for her (depending on your point of view), I was able to fast forward large chunks so as not to resort to insensitive redneck stereotypes.
On a side note, why don’t Usher or Shakira use last names? Fun fact, Shakira’s last name is ‘Ripoll’ and Usher’s last name is ‘Raymond’. I guess now we know why they don’t flaunt them. Why don’t the Midwest TV Guys use last names? So that our rabid throngs of female fans stop throwing themselves at me. Calm down ladies, I’m happily married. (Eat your hearts out, MIKE and MO)
I am mildly ashamed to say that I kind of dig Bruno Mars’ vibe. Dude puts on a good show and is a fantastic vocalist regardless of how much I dislike many of his mainstream songs.
It was great to see the Swon Brothers join BOB SEGER for a rendition of “Night Moves.” Bob Seger is an absolute legend, and he makes me regret not buying tickets to his recent concert in Chicago.
If I were blind and the lyrics did not read “this is a women’s world”, I would swear that Cher was a poorly auto tuned man. Thankfully I have the full faculties of my ocular senses so I could experience the 67 year old fox prance around looking lost/confused and rocking a pink mohawk. She is… quite a… handsome woman. For sure.
Funny quote of the night:
“If I weren’t a singer, I would be Blake.” -Adam Levine
As it came down to the actual results, it amazed me that they could cram in one hour and fifty five minutes of garbage filler only to make the actual choice in less than five minutes.
AND THE WINNER IS…
Dammit. The Swon Brothers absolutely deserved to win based on talent alone. Their cover of The Eagles last week should have clinched the whole thing, but I guess the voting yokels prefer cute underage blondes over a couple of dudes. Danielle Bradbery has a great voice for being so young, but the fact of the matter is that she is so young and has a long career ahead of her. I just hope that somebody picks up The Swon Brothers for a record deal and gives them a shot. I was never a huge fan of the other one, so much so that I already forgot her name. At least that other girl with the enormous nostrils didn’t make it into the finals, it would have been awkward to see those puppies flare in delight. Seriously, you could park a Mack Truck up there.
Oh well, THE VOICE comes back this fall sans those without last names in favor of Cee Lo and Christina Aguilera again.