Holy cow. After a long and arduous few weeks of nothing to watch, some of my shows are finally starting to come back out of hibernation. There is only so much SISTER WIVES, DANCE MOMS and REAL HOUSEWIVES a man can take before wanting to end it all. Especially when I’m out of trim for my man-cave remodel, so I can’t even go in the other room to shut the door and do manly construction-related things. I suppose I can just go in there and hit my thumb with the hammer a few times since that’s pretty much how it always ends up anyway, but regardless of how bad my wife’s shows happen to be, the couch is awfully comfy…
Luckily I was saved (sort of) by the return of AMERICAN HORROR STORY. The season picks back up with a truly bizarre episode that has a couple of redeeming scenes but ends up falling short and prematurely ending storylines it really should have kept going.
Head inside for the full recap…
Dr Arden revives Kit after bringing him near death to try and make contact with the aliens. He lies to Kit and tells him that nothing happened, but he did find both Grace and Pepper who is Grace’s alien caretaker (it really doesn’t make any more sense than that). Grace is extremely pregnant and Arden puts them both in one of his examination rooms to try and study the baby. Pepper uses some alien powers to stop him and lays it all out for Arden essentially calling him a laughing stock and a quack.
Contrary to popular belief, Monseigneur Howard did not die from Emerson’s crucifixion, rather was visited by the angel of death and told to take care of the devil that lives inside of Sister Mary Eunice. As Eunice cares for the Monseigneur she slowly seduces him and ends up essentially raping him before Dr Arden walks in on them mid-act. Just as any first-timer would do, Howard goes crying to Jude who suggests that he kill her.
After escaping the broom closet (with help of Sister Mary Eunice), Dr Threadson officially rejoins the asylum and comes back to look after Lana and his unborn child. He ends up finding Grace as she is giving birth and uses it all as leverage against Kit to find out where his taped confession was stashed. We find out that the baby is Kit’s son but not much more is explored quite yet.
Eunice continues her vendetta-driven torture of Sister Jude by strapping her to the electroshock machine. This leaves Jude completely out of it for a good long while. Then we are treated to a random and totally unexplained group dance of the Name Game. Since when did AMERICAN HORROR STORY become GLEE? Oh right, they’re done by the same folks. Here’s the clip. Enjoy?
Dr Arden goes out to feed his mutant experiments in the woods followed by Sister Mary Eunice and ends up shooting and killing them all. Between losing his pride from Pepper and losing his imaginary hold on Eunice, he has nothing left to care for. He turns the gun on himself but is unable to pull the trigger. Sister Mary Eunice just laughs, pushes him to the ground and walks away.
Sister Mary Eunice then confronts the Monseigneur and tells him that she can give him power and make him pope. She knows that he intends to kill her and taunts him to do so. Howard tells her that he knows that the real Sister Mary Eunice is somewhere inside which momentarily tears the demonic veil aside so that he is able to shove her off the top of the third story railing where she plummets to her death. Dr Arden insists that they cremate the body rather than bury it. As twisted as Arden is, he holds some sort of sick love for Eunice and crawls on top of her as he starts the cremation chamber burning them both.
So the whole GLEE vibe? Not cool. While I understand it was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, it was way too random to be funny. And I really need to disagree with the decision to off two of the best actors of the whole season. Hopefully something happens where Eunice is not really dead and saves them both from the fire, but it doesn’t appear like that will be the case. At least DYLAN MCDERMOTT is coming back into a more prominent role next episode and ideally for the remaining two episodes after that.