All My Babies’ Mamas

bet hip hop awards 3 021011Have you seen this man?

If so, your child may or may not have been fathered by him.  Don’t have a child yet?  Just wait a few months.  This guy is some sort of baby making Jesus.  Actually just in typing this I might have felt a kick.  Wait… it’s just dinner.

Now that my wife has fled the room, I can continue…

ALL MY BABIES’ MAMAS might as well be called ALL MY UNUSED PROPHYLACTICS as a very stupid man named SHAWTY LO (or Mr. Carlos Walker if you wish to be formal) has fathered 11 children from 10 separate women.  A self proclaimed millionaire from drug dealing, he is now some sort of hip hop star which is more than likely why I’ve never heard of him before.  His current single is called “Dey Know”.  What ‘dey’ don’t know, they will be  finding out one way or another in approximately nine months.

More within (mild pun intended)…  On an important side note, are rap songs called ‘singles’?  and for that matter are rap songs called songs?  Or are they rhymes?  Or perhaps rhymez?  I’ve noticed that if I want to be hip, I need to spell all plurals with Z’s at the end.  Pluralz.

10 separate women.  Think about that for a second.  10 separate women that he is tied to for the next 3-17 years.  One separate woman can be enough of a pain in the neck (I love you honey), but 10 of them at a time hold some sort of astronomically high PITA score.  SHAWTY LO is quoted as saying “You can hate me all you want to, I didn’t ask for it, it just happened.”  You would imagine that after the third or fourth ‘happening’, a wiser guy would have tied it off.


So now everybody and their baby mamas are ‘outraged’ about this show as it allegedly furthers stereotypes about African Americans.  If you ask me, it has nothing to do with race, it simply furthers the stereotype of irresponsible idiots.  I know several dumb fertile white guys that could give ‘ol SHAWTY LO a run for his money.  Except the guys I know aren’t millionaire rap moguls.  So at the very least, SHAWTY seems to shovel cash at his kids.

Is the outrage justified?  No.  And if it was, I wouldn’t really care.  No amount of hemming and hawing is going to cancel this thing.  Is it stupid and disgusting?  Absolutely.  Don’t like it?  Don’t watch it.  There are probably thousands of things that are exponentially worse than ALL MY BABIES’ MAMAS (such as HERE COMES HONEY BOO BOO) that the ‘outraged’ crowd does not and will never watch, so just add this to the bottom of the list.

At least it gives folks like me something to wax poetic about.

For better or for worse and I’m pretty confident this will land squarely in the ‘worse’ catagory, ALL MY BABIES’ MAMAS will air sometime soon on the OXYGEN network.